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Miles chokes on his broccoli, thumping on his chest and reaching for his drink.
“I fucking knew it.” In a rare display of what might count as happiness, Chase grins.
“How did that happen?” Miles asks, now recovered.
“Well, Miles, when a man and a woman really like each other…”
He rolls his eyes.
“Did you mean for it to happen or was it one of those spur-of-the-moment things?” Lee asks, worry set in his wrinkled forehead.
I push away my tray, not in the mood to eat. “When we kissed, it wasn’t planned. She was in the pantry trying to get something from a high shelf and I went in to help and one thing led to another.”
Miles frowns. “I thought you said you slept with her?”
“I did. Then the next time was the night she was out with all the girls. I heard something downstairs and went down to investigate and she was in there looking hotter than sin and… stuff happened.”
Chase arches an eyebrow.
“You don’t need the details.”
He scowls at me.
“After that, we talked about what was going on and decided that it was okay if we messed around as long as we kept it on the DL. I don’t want to confuse Theo or anything.”
Lee’s forehead creases. “But what if it turns into something more than just the two of you fooling around? Would you tell Theo then?”
It’s a fair question. I’ve only been with the team for a year, but I’ve made it clear to the guys that I don’t have any type of relationship history. Being serious with Violet would be new territory for me.
“Doesn’t matter. She wants things to remain casual, and I agreed. But it’s like I can’t get enough. I thought that after we’d got together again, I’d feel some type of satiation, but it’s only ramped up all my feelings. I want her more now than I ever did. When I saw her this morning, I practically pulled her into the pantry to make her come.” I shake my head at how desperate I felt to give her pleasure this morning.
“Sounds like your pantry’s getting a lot of action.” Miles tosses a cherry tomato into his mouth.
I glare at him. “Not the point.”
Chase leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. “What’s the fucking problem, man? You’re getting laid on the regular now, enjoying it, and she doesn’t want to make it a big fucking thing. Doesn’t seem like something to cry about.”
When he puts it like that, I wonder,What is my problem? A year ago, I would’ve been thrilled to find myself in a situation like this.
“Maybe I’m overthinking things,” I grumble.
“Yeah, or maybe you have real feelings for Violet.” Lee throws a cherry tomato at me and it hits me on the forehead. “Too bad it’s not heavy enough to knock some sense into you.”
I don’t like how his words resonate in my chest. There are a number of problems with that scenario.
First, explaining to Hannah that I did, in fact, sleep with the nanny.
Second, convince Violet that what we have should be something more and not just a fling. But how do I do that in good conscience when I don’t even know if I’m relationship material? I tried that once with my son’s mom and it went to shit.
Third and most important, how do I bring a woman who’s clearly hesitant about opening herself up to love again into Theo’s life? I can’t risk his heart being broken if things don’t work out.
“That’s not an option, so it doesn’t matter either way,” I tell Lee. Then in the interest of moving off this topic of conversation, I direct us to another topic I know will shift the focus. “Has Twyla heard from her ex at all since they broke up?”
“This fucking guy. You won’t believe it…” Miles starts.
Chase groans and gives me a death glare.
Miles continues to tell us all the latest updates while I do my best to pretend I’m listening. Really, I’m still thinking about Violet and what Lee just said. Could I want more, and if so, what does that look like?
