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There’s just so much to consider: Theo, my career and how Violet would handle my absences, the media attention and other women’s advances. Then there’s how Hannah will react—not that she has a say in who I choose to bring into my life. But the truth is that neither of us has been in a serious relationship since we split when Theo was little. We haven’t had to deal with the other person having a significant other in their lives. There’re sure to be some growing pains.
“Fuck,” I grumble and push a hand through my hair.
“You said a bad word,” Theo says on our walk back from the park. I told Violet I would take him while she cleaned up after lunch.
“Sorry, buddy. My bad.”
Today is a rare day off and I want to enjoy it with my son, but my mind has been going nonstop, thinking about all this stuff with Violet. So much for the light and breezy affair we’d planned on having.
If I’m honest with myself, I knew it would never be a casual encounter for me. Something about Violet has pulled me to her since the first night we met.
It’s that thought that makes me decide I need to have a conversation with Violet today. I’m certain she’s having a lot of the same thoughts, and there’s no point in each of us stressing out and wondering what the other is thinking when we can just have a conversation and sort it out.
I’m heading out of town to our final preseason game in Green Bay and I don’t want this on my mind while I’m away. I have a job to do, and I need to be able to focus.
Violet and Theo won’t be joining me this time because Theo has his orientation for school while I’m gone, and Violet is taking him.
We arrive back home, and as soon as we’re through the door, Theo races ahead to go find Violet. I follow. She’s in her room, stripping the bedding from her mattress to wash her sheets.
“How was the park?” she asks Theo with a smile.
“Daddy pushed me as high as I could go on the swings!” He’s all smiles and oozing energy. It’s like the park did nothing to burn off some of the excess.
“Oh wow, we’ll have to see if I can get you higher than your dad did the next time we go.” She winks.
I chuckle. “Challenge accepted.”
Theo whips around to face me. “Daddy, want to do that new Lego set I got for my birthday?” He bounces up and down, waiting for my answer.
It’s always amusing to me how fast kids can go from one thing to the next.
“Just give me a few minutes. There’s something I need to talk to Violet about.”
“Okay, I’m gonna get it all out.”
He rushes out of the room, and I hear him hurrying down the stairs.
“Use the railing!”
“I know,” he shouts back.
I push my hands in my pockets and turn to face Violet. She’s standing by the edge of the bed, frozen with a sheet rumpled in her hands. I recognize that she’s clued into what I want to address and she looks as if she could bolt at any moment. I walk over to her, take the sheet, and toss it in the nearby laundry hamper, then I take her hands and lead her to the edge of the bed where we both sit.
“Don’t look so scared.” I tuck a piece of errant hair that’s escaped her ponytail behind her ear.
“I’m not scared.”
I tilt my head and raise an eyebrow. “You look like you’re either going to throw up or run out of here.”
She draws in a deep breath and sighs. “I don’t want to do this,” she just about whispers.
“We need to talk about it.” I don’t look away from her eyes, but she turns her gaze toward the door. “What are you so scared of?” I squeeze her hand.
“If we talk about this, it’s going to change things. I like where we are.” She turns back to look at me, and though it’s not visible on the outside, I see the cracked shell her ex and her parents have left her with just below the surface.
“I like where we are too, but we can’t pretend that something didn’t change. I just want to talk about it. Trust me, it’s not like I’ve figured out exactly what it means either.”
Before she can respond, the chime on our phones goes off and alerts us that someone is at the front door. The relief on her face about the interruption worries me.
