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“What are you doing?”
I whip around, startled. “I’m packing.” What else is there to say?
He walks into the room, closing the door. When I go to set a pile of clothes inside my suitcase, he closes the lid. “What the fuck, Violet? You’re going to take off just like that? No conversation or anything?”
There’s real pain in his eyes when I look at him, and I set down the clothes in my hands on top of the suitcase. “Hannah’s home now. You don’t need me anymore.”
“But you’re just bolting? First opportunity you have, and you’re out of here rather than having a difficult conversation with me?”
It’s funny when you think of a big football player and assume they wouldn’t show emotions like everyone else. But Brady… Brady wears his out in the open. I’m the scared cat in the corner, clawing at anyone who comes near me.
“One has nothing to do with the other. No matter what we decide about us, I have to leave this house.”
“That’s not true.” His hands fist at his sides.
“What are you going to do, Brady? Ask me to move in with you? That’s crazy.” A caustic laugh leaves my mouth.
He looks as if he wants to argue with me, but he knows I’m right. Maybe we’re not in fling territory anymore, but we’re not in serious territory either. We’re somewhere in the middle. Maybe if Hannah hadn’t come home early, we could have had the time to figure out what side of the line we fall on, but now we’re out of time.
“Still, we need to have a conversation before you take off.”
“Fine!” I throw my hands in the air and flop down on the bed. “Let’s talk.”
His forehead wrinkles and he steps toward me. “First off, what are you so pissed about?”
“Everything! Nothing! I don’t even know. I think I’m a little pissed at myself for letting myself get in this situation again.”
“What situation?”
He really hasn’t figured it out.
“Caring for someone again.” My voice is small, and I look at my hands in my lap.
“Some people might think that’s a good thing.” His voice grows calmer now and the bed dips beside me when he sits.
“Those people wouldn’t have my history.”
He takes my chin, turning it so I’m looking at him. “Just because you were with one guy who didn’t know what he had doesn’t mean every guy is like that.”
Tears gather in the corners of my eyes, and I fight not to release them. “I was with a man foryears,and I didn’t even really know him.”
He shakes his head. “I’m not him.”
I know he’s not. He’s better than any man I’ve ever known and that’s what makes this so scary. Can he possibly be real? If we take whatever we have and move it to the real world rather than remaining in this bubble we’ve created for ourselves, can it last?
“Every man I’ve ever thought I knew and cared about has disappointed me. Broke my heart. How do I know you’re not just the next in line?” I blink and a lone tear tracks down my cheek.
“What are you talking about?” he whispers, using his thumb to brush away my tear.
I guess it’s time for it all to come out. Might as well confess to him all the ugly details. Maybe then he’ll understand why I can’t do this. “I told you that my first job as a nanny was in college.”
He nods, concern etching lines on his forehead.
“What I didn’t tell you was that I worked for a single dad. He was separated from his wife and they shared custody, so I was at his place on his days with his child whenever he was at work.” I swallow past the lump in my throat and force myself to continue.
“I wasn’t there very long before I got the sense that he was attracted to me. He was about a decade older than me, handsome, successful in his field, and so when he paid me attention, I lapped it up. One thing led to another, and we ended up messing around whenever I was over there. He told me that he and his estranged wife had been separated for some time and were actively working on the divorce filing and had no plans to get back together. Imagine my surprise when I heard from the agency that my services were no longer needed because they’d gotten back together and she’d be moving back in.”
Brady reaches for my hand, but I tug it away. I don’t deserve for him to console me. “It’s not your fault. He was older. He knew what he was doing.”
