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“I know. I don’t have to like it though.”
“You care for that asshole?”
“He’s an asshole but I love him. He’s my father.”
“I told you, there’s no such thing as love. It doesn’t exist.”
“Then tell me something, why do you give a shit what happened to your family five years ago?”
He doesn’t answer. Instead, he pays the check and then tells me we’re leaving. He says nothing the entire drive back to his place. Only when we’re climbing out of the car and heading inside does he speak to me again.
He stops dead in the doorway, blocking me from going inside. “Let’s just make one thing clear,” he says, his voice devoid of emotion. “You don’t ever talk about my family again.”
“You know what? That’s the way you want it, fine.”
“Glad we’re clear.”
He walks away and I follow, not willing to let the conversation end yet. “You don’t want a wife, not really, do you?”
He stops, turning to look at me. “What are you talking about?”
“You want a robot. Someone to switch off at the back when you’re bored. Maybe a sex doll with self cleaning ability.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You don’t want to talk about your family because it hurts. Because you loved them and they died. Guess what, be a fucking man and admit it for once in your life. You know there’s no shame in loving someone, right? No need to pretend to be this cold dead inside asshole just like my father. I know you, Alexsei, I see you.
“You’re capable of love, of affection, of admitting you’re in pain. You’re still grieving them because you won’t let yourself accept the pain of losing them. All of this, the whole revenge thing, has just been a distraction from dealing with your grief.”
I put a hand on his arm. “You loved your family and they died. That was a terrible thing.”
He lifts my hand from him, turning and walking away without another word.
That’s when I make my decision. If he can’t become the person I know he can be, there’s no point staying with him. I could put up with the rudeness, the arrogance, everything.
As long as I knew it was going somewhere. But the thought of him remaining this way for the rest of our lives, of raising our child while he glares and scowls and refuses to ever open up to me? I can’t do it.
I push open the nearest door and duck inside, sinking into a chair and putting my head in my hands. Now I’ve made a decision, I need to decide what to do next.
The door opens and he’s standing there looking like nothing has changed from the first time we met. “I will deal with your father,” he says. “Then I will let you go. That’s what you want,isn’t it?”
“What do you want, Alexsei?”
“For all this to be over. I wanted you because your father was responsible for my family’s death. I wanted to hurt him through you. I wanted to hurt you too. I don’t want to do that anymore.
“I will find an heir with someone else. Once your father is dead, you will be safe wherever you want to be. I will pay you for your gallery and we never need to see each other again.”
“I have your child growing inside me, Alexsei. Did you forget that part?”
“I will pay what is needed to support you both but you will go. That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”
“I guess so.”
“Good.”
He pulls the door closed again, leaving me wondering how I could ever have thought I was falling in love with him.
10
