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“Don’t make me throw you out of here. Go.”
“You really want me to go?”
He grunts again. “I know you want to leave. You spent a long time trying to escape. This is your chance. There is a car outside. It will take you wherever you want to go. Now get out of my sight.”
“Then I guess this is goodbye.”
He holds the door open for me. “Do svidaniya, Mila.”
12
Alexsei
She had to go. You understand that, right? I couldn’t keep her here, not after all this. I’ve bodies to clear up, an empire to run.
I haven’t got time to be dealing with a woman who wants nothing to do with me except peck at the edges of my mind. Trying to drag out emotions that don’t exist.
Love isn’t real. The sooner she gets used to that fact, the better. She’s too fucking naive to see the world for what it really is. A shitshow.
She thinks I can change? Thinks I want to change? Fuck that. I’m happy as I am. Killing is what I know and it’s how shit gets done.
I’m not going to sit down and talk to Don Belucci and pretend everything is fine. I’m going to let him calm down, lower his guard. Then I’m going to put a bullet in his head.
Not because he threatened her. Because it’s the right thing to do for my business interests.
Which are the only things that matter.
I will have an heir. When it’s born, I will take the child from her because I need it. She will grumble and whine but who gives a shit about that?
I will not let emotions stop me from doing what needs to be done. I should not have run the night my family died.
I should have told my father to shoot me, forced him to accept he needed my help. Instead, I was a coward and I ran. They died.
I will not fall for Mila, no matter how blue her eyes, no matter how soft her touch, or how gentle her moans when I touch her. Falling for someone means being vulnerable and I cannot allow that to happen. Ever.
It’s simple enough. She leaves. Goes and gets through the pregnancy. The child is born. I take it from her. I divorce her. She gets money. I get an heir. She’ll take the money and be grateful for it or I’ll have her killed.
That’s who I am. I know that. In my heart. I am a monster. I am not someone she should even want to be around.
Seeing her touching herself in my bedroom, feelings flooded me that I refuse to think about. I will not fall for her. There is no such thing as love.
Trust no one. That’s the mantra. That’s the words that are carved into my soul. Look what happened when I trusted Igor. Bastard flipped and joined the cartel. After all these years working for my family, he flipped when it was expedient. She’d do the same, turn on me when it worked in her favor.
Fuck that and fuck her. I will kill her father. I will win this thing. I never lose. I always get what I want.
You want her, don’t you?
That voice has been whispering to me ever since I first set eyes on Mila. It’s a quiet voice, easy to ignore. The truth is I don’t want anyone. Don’t need anyone. Except an heir to take over when I’m gone, keep the family name alive.
I don’t need her. What I need is to admit the truth to myself. You cannot change your nature. You have to accept who you are. I know who I am. What I am. A name to bring fear to the hearts of my enemies. Of which there is only one left. One who will soon be dead.
I look out of the window of my study as the car drives away. Mila is inside. No doubt glad to be leaving. She was right of course. I am a coldhearted bastard.
I will take her child from her when it is born. I will pay her off. Then I will never see her again. She can forget her kid exists, move on with her life.
I walk out of the study and across the corridor until I reach the kitchen. I take a bottle of vodka from the shelf where it sits with the rest of the alcohol, waiting for guests to arrive.
I look at the bottle. Five years without drinking. That voice still whispering to me that I should call her back, tell her I love her.
