AllFreeNovel
Share Us
He remained standing in front of me, forcing me to look up so that I could watch his expression and discern his mood.
An icy coldness had taken over his entire being.
“Rita never accepted our way of life, nor my role in the Fratellanza.”
My heart was beating erratically.
“Her own mother had a very religious upbringing, and that rubbed off on Rita while she was growing up.”
“But Rita’s father was part of the Fratellanza?”
“Yes, he was, but her mother’s family wasn’t. That’s the problem of marrying an outsider. Her mother was Italian, but that wasn’t enough to understand what we do—what wehaveto do. Rita took after her mother and could never accept that killing came with my job, nor that it helped fund our lifestyle.”
“So, Rita betrayed you to the authorities?” My voice was laced with horror. Everyone knew how importantomertawas in the Mafia: the code of silence which demanded that we didn’t talk to or cooperate with law enforcement or the authorities.
“No.” His voice was strained. “I betrayed her.”
My blood froze in my veins. I couldn’t breathe. “What do you mean?” I forced my words out, my voice hoarse.
“She couldn’t cope with her life with me. I knew she was struggling—that she’d always struggled with it.”
I stayed silent, confused, but not wanting to interrupt him when he was finally opening up to me.
“She was worse after Clemente was born. She had postpartum depression. I thought she’d get better. We had two beautiful children, and she had given me an heir when Clemente was born. I never understood how bad it was.I should have known. It was my fault that she killed herself.”
“She committed suicide?”
He nodded. “I guess she decided she couldn’t go on anymore. She’d pleaded with me to leave this life behind, that we could start afresh somewhere.”
“But she knew, deep down, that was never possible,” I said softly. “We all know that. None of us can leave this life.” Anyone walking away from the Mafia held too much knowledge and was too much of a danger to those who remained; therefore, the only way to leave the Mafia was through death. The only way Rita had been able to escape the Mafia life she despised was by killing herself.
“I refused to leave,” Lorenzo carried on, “even though I knew she was struggling so much. She said I was a monster because of what I do: killing people.”
“But she would have known neither of you could ever have left. Marco and the Fratellanza would never have allowed it.”
“I should have gotten her more help instead of thinking that she’d pull through what she was going through.”
“Did she get any professional help?”
“No. I blame myself. I should have arranged for her to see someone. If I had, then her death could have been prevented.”
“You can’t blame yourself, Lorenzo.”
“Yes, I can! I was her husband. She was my responsibility. I let her down.”
“I don’t understand why you didn’t tell people what really happened and how she died? The closed casket would make everyone assume that you must have killed her—that she must have disobeyed you or betrayed you. Why would you let people think that?”
His features hardened. “It’s better my men think me a strong Underboss—someone who doesn’t hesitate when it comes to killing traitors, even if that traitor is his wife.”
“You surely can’t mean that?”
“It was better than the alternative—that they think me a weak man who couldn’t even control his woman and make her be a good Mafia wife.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but deep down, I knew that he was right. People in our world believed that men should be able to control their wives. Even to the extent of forcing their wife to support her husband in whatever he did and whoever he murdered.
***
Following Lorenzo’s revelations, I decided to go to bed early. I wanted some time to myself to think about what he’d told me.
