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Jess squeezed my hand in understanding. She and I confided everything to each other, and we had talked about this already.
After I had put on the dress, I looked at my reflection in the mirror, slightly in awe of what I saw. “I have to admit this wedding dress is perfect,” I said to Jess. The silk dress was overlaid with intricate lace and the fitted bodice was nipped in at the waist before flaring out into a long, elegant skirt.
“Don’t forget your jewelry,” said Jess, handing me the pieces I had selected for today. So as not to take anything away from the dress, I had decided to wear only a simple pair of diamond earrings, along with a diamond pendant necklace that had been a gift from my parents on my eighteenth birthday.
“Jess, will you help me with the veil?” With my sister’s help, together we fixed the veil in place on top of my dark hair. The lace veil was sheer and light and floated around my body, quite unlike the heavy feeling which was weighing down inside of me.
Looking at myself in the mirror was surreal: I was dressed up for this elaborate day and I looked perfect in every sense, yet somehow I didn’t look like me, nor did I feel like me.
My thoughts were interrupted by my mother bustling back into my bedroom with a large box in her hands. “Your bouquet has arrived from your groom,” she gushed excitedly. As was the Italian tradition, my bouquet was a gift from my husband-to-be. I tentatively opened the box and saw the blood-red roses—his choice, not mine—and the sight of them caused a shiver to run through my body.
My mother turned to my sister with an uncomfortable look. “Jessica, I need to have a word with Juliana alone.” Jess left the room, giving me a knowing look, and I prepared myself for the mother-to-daughter talk I knew I would have to endure.
I had attended a Catholic school referred to as the ‘Polo School’—although we never called it that in front of the adults because they claimed this abbreviation was disrespectful. The school’s full name was Our Lady Of Pompei’s School, but the students had always reversed the initials of the school to give it the nickname of the Polo School, the latter being less of a mouthful.
Most of the daughters from Società families were sent to this all-girls school. Even though I had attended a Catholic school, of course I knew about sex. The very fact that the nuns wouldn’t talk about sex during our biology lessons had made the girls at my school even more eager to learn about the taboo subject.
My mother stroked my dark hair, which the hairdresser had put up in an elegant style with a multitude of hairpins. “My eldest daughter is getting married,” she sighed. “From the moment you were born, everyone knew that you would be a great beauty and that one day you would make a great marriage.”
My mother sounded wistful but then appeared to mentally shake herself as she remembered what she needed to say to me. “Today, you must do your duty to your family and the Società. Tonight, you must obey your husband. Try to please him and that will make it easier for you.”
Her words were hardly reassuring me.
She focused her gaze on the wall beyond me. “The physical side of the marital relationship is always hard on the woman. You must endure your husband’s attentions until he is satisfied with the number of children you have produced. After that, hopefully he will look elsewhere for intimate diversions. But be sure that you never refuse him. It would not be wise to cross any Made Man, but that is doubly true for a man like Marco Marchiano.”
She stroked my cheek and then, with a small sigh, she got up and walked to my bedroom door. “I must go to the church now and greet our guests. It is expected of me.”
Once she had slipped away, Jess came back into my bedroom along with my older brother, Jacob.
“Wow. You look…amazing,” exclaimed Jacob. He came over and gave me a hug. He was being careful not to crease my dress, but I pushed myself into his arms, relishing his closeness. He had always taken care of Jess and me, but I would no longer have him nearby once I moved to Chicago.
“I still can’t believe that they’re marrying you to that evil bastard,” cried Jess.
“Don’t curse,” Jacob and I scolded at the same time.
Jess scowled. “You and Jake curse all the time.”
Jacob raised his eyebrows. “We’re older than you. And you’re my baby sister, so I don’t think I’m ever going to let you curse.”
I giggled. I would miss this, and I would miss them—more than life itself.
Even though she was my little sister, Jess was only a year younger than me. At already eighteen years old, thoughts would soon turn to who Jess would be married to. The thought filled me with unease, and I found myself wishing that I could protect her forever.
“Jake, make sure you take care of Jess for me,” I whispered, blinking hard to keep back the tears that were prickling behind my eyelids.
“Always,” he promised, and the three of us hugged for what felt like the last time. Jacob held out a hand each to Jess and me. “Come on, its time. Let’s get you two down to the car.”
With that, I took one final look around my childhood bedroom, before making my way down to the waiting car.
CHAPTER 5
MARCO
I stood at the altar in the L.A. church chosen by the Bonardi family.
It was suitably old and imposing, though I hardly took any notice of my surroundings, having more pressing matters on my mind.
Alessio stood by my side as my best man, although his most important role for today concerned security. “Our side of the church looks rather empty,” observed Alessio.
