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God, I sound like a bitter bitch.
In the club’s huge party room, I wait out of sight behind a curtain, trying not to shake. Or vomit. Or pass out. I shift in my high-heeled pumps, where I hid my cash under the inner sole lining. It’s not comfortable, but what else about my life is? I don’t know how tonight will go down, but if I’m whisked off the moment the auction ends, at least I’ll have some money with me. I couldn’t fit much in there, but it’s something.
The troll Alexei, holding the program that still claims I’m a virgin, is already in the center front row surrounded by his goons, smiling like a cat about to jump its prey. Even from where I am sneaking a peek, I see sweat running down his temples in the temperate room. His sausage-like fingers push through his greasy hair, and he pops a mint into his mouth, his lips twisted into a rubbery smile.
As if his ‘having’ me is a foregone conclusion.
Such arrogance.
If this doesn’t put me off men for the rest of my life, I don’t know what will.
I spot Dimitri, who walks in like he owns the place and because of course, there’s instant drama over something he says, which I cannot hear across the room. I can’t tell whether the guys are trying to corral him or kick him out altogether. God knows what he’s done this time. He’s his own worst enemy with his big mouth and clueless entitlement.
“How you feeling?” Kir asks, poking his head behind the screen where I wait, startling the hell out of me.
I want to hit him. But I smile and shimmy in my gold dress. “Wonderful Kir, like any girl who’s about to be sold to erase the debts of her father. It’s what I’ve always wanted. The perfect direction for my life. My mother, if she were alive, would be thrilled.”
His head snaps back on his shoulders like he’s surprised at my vitriol. Does he really expect something else? Am I supposed to be jumping up and down and squealing like a girl who just made the cheerleading squad?
Fuck him. And fuck his brothers.
I look away, full of disgust in myself, the Alekseevs, all the men at the auction, and the world in general.
Everyone gets a break in life. Everyone except me, that is.
I lose my mother when I’m ten, my dad stops being a parent and can barely even continue to run his little business, I have to raise my younger sister, and thenthis? After I finally believe I have a track to follow that will put my life on a trajectory that I control? I wanted to be a professional woman who wears nice clothes and eats in restaurants every now and then. Hangs out with my BFF, Luci, and even takes occasional vacations to warm places like Florida and California.
How is it that’s too much to ask?
Where’smyfucking break?
“Um, I take it Vadik hasn’t spoken to you,” he says.
No, he hasn’t spoken to me. He fucked me, but he hasn’t spoken to me.
I don’t bother answering. My scowl says it all.
Kir nods slowly. “Okay. Well, just hang tight. One of us will be right back.”
I throw my arms up in the air. “Hanging!” I say as if I’m having fun.
He disappears and I look around the screen again, this time watching Dominika get in on the drama at the back of the room.
Anger wells up in me. Actually, it kind of rolls over me, squashing me like a Mack truck. It oozes out of my pores, through the ends of my hair, and if someone were to even look at me wrong, I think I could kill them with my bare hands. My skin crackles with the strange sensation, and the depth of hate I feel at this moment scares me. I’m trying to shake it off when I hear raised voices. I poke my head around the screen again.
Everyone is still preoccupied with Dimitri—even Alexei is now turned around to watch the fuss—that the club front door is not being watched. Seriously. The bouncer, on his way to restrain Dimitri, has left the door unattended.
Could it really be this easy?
I can run. For god’s sake, I can run.
* * *
CHAPTERSEVENTY
Charleigh
Something holds me back.
