Page 59 of Was I Ever Real

My eyes swivel to him, stifling a sniffle, hating myself. “Yeah?”

“Where did you run to when you escaped?”

I give him a questioning look, not sure why he’s asking nor why it matters.

“I found a diner in the middle of nowhere…” I trail off when I see his face morph into pure shock, but he tries to hide it quickly. Not quick enough.

I sit up straight. Nerves buzzing through me. “What?”

His mouth falls slightly open, his eyes dancing between each of mine, slowly assessing as if he’s taking me in for the very first time. The unease starts to curl around my throat, tightening my airway. “Connor…”

“I was there that night,” he says almost distractedly, as if even his voice isn’t sure how to form the words to emote what he’s trying to sound out.

There’s a latch door inside of me that opens, and my heart free falls.

The depth of those five words are infinite. They can mean anything, to anyone. But to me. To us? They can only mean one thing.

We’ve met before.

Although I’ve understood the full weight of what he just revealed, my brain latches on to nothing. Reaching for thoughts that are thin as air, all I manage is to repeat myself. “What?”

Connor’s hand moves slowly over his face, shock still etched deeply into the grooves of his skin. “Me, Byzantine and Bastian… we were all there that night.”

The image of the diner is so hazy, like someone recounted the memory back to me so many times I’ve managed to reconstruct a blurry image of it in my mind. Only remembering the wide strokes of the night Penelope faded away and I became Lenix.

But I do remember three men. Ungodly men. The first I had ever seen.

And now, the one with the blackest of eyes, the unholiest of them all, watches me with such intensity I can barely breathe.

“I don’t know what to say…” I utter quietly.

Connor taps his finger on the couch as if mulling something over, his eyebrows knitted, almost angry. “I just left you there,” he finally says, his gaze avoiding mine, his voice drenched in defeat.

The gut-wrenching response my body slips into is almost too much to bear. I’m not built for these kinds of emotions, I’m aching to shut it all down. So I do the only thing Icando and change the subject before I start sobbing in front of him, and never stop.

“That day in the parking lot, it really was my ex-fiancé you saw. He was there on behalf of my brother.” Almost too nervous to find his gaze from across the couch. His eyes are stone-cold when I finally peer over to him. He doesn’t say anything, waiting for me to elaborate. Taking a deep breath, I continue, “He’s now the leader of Sacro Nuntio, I don’t know how but he found me. He threatened to drag me back so I could repent for killing our father. That’s when I came to you.” I bite the inside of my cheek, my heart thudding hard against my chest. The same guilt and shame as always shackling me into this painful reality. “I was still trying to figure out what to do when—” I take a deep inhale, wanting to get my statement out as fast as possible. “When last night happened.”

“Whathappened?” he growls, his fingers in a tight fist, knuckles turning white.

“The governor cornered me in the bathrooms.”

“Morrissey?” Connor says incredulously and I nod.

“I—I don’t even know how it’s possible, but he’s a part of Sacro Nuntio. He threatened me… slammed me into the door. Said they would hurt my sister if I didn’t come back willingly. So—so I decided to go back. You intercepted me, and here we are.” My voice cracks and Connor’s jaw clenches.

“You were going to give yourself up?” he says, his voice boiling with anger. I can’t tell if it’s directed towards me or them.

“What else was I supposed to do Connor?”

He stands up, the rage coming off him like waves of noxious fumes.

“I told you I was going to protect you didn’t I?”

He paces in front of the couch, body wound tight, neck and arms corded, prowling like the predator I’ve always known him to be.

“But what about my sister?” I choke out.

“I’ll take care of it.”

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