Page 80 of Was I Ever Real


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But then my body splinters in half. White, blinding pain slices through me and it’s so acute that I don’t even understand what or where it’s coming from. I bellow into the water and continue to wail even when I’m pulled out. Fingertips dig into my shoulders and arms, trying to keep me on my knees but I’ve lost all mobility.

That’s when the stench hits me.

Burning flesh.

My mind is slow, sluggish, but I still manage to blink past the blur and find my brother standing over me, a glowing branding iron in his hands.

I’ve never felt such all-encompassing hatred until this very moment.

Between the retching, gagging, and incomprehensible agony—I send out a prayer.

Not to God.

No.

To Lenix.

To a future version of her—of myself—who will reclaim her power and fight back.

She will save me. She will enact my revenge.

And when the time comes, she will dance on my brother’s grave.

I’m back in the room. I might have lost consciousness, I can’t tell. The pain has now localized, the throbbing concentrated on my right hip. I lay on my left side, facing the wall, shivering through the pain. I fall in and out of reality. Like the rising tide, I drift out to sea, back to shore, again and again.

Through the haze, I feel soothing hands stroking over my skin, and I can’t help the pained whimper that escapes me, my body sensitive to even the gentlest touch. The wet slip is now dry, sticking to my skin and those same hands lift it, carefully peeling it off my hip where it congealed with the blood. I cry out but find no strength to move.

“I’m so sorry,” the voice quivers. The wisps of reality still lingering near me recognize my sister. My lips mouth her name but no sound leaves me. I float in and out of consciousness again while she tends to my wound. Tears fall silently into the musty pillow underneath my heavy head, and I hope she understands my small sighs of gratitude.

Eventually, she kisses me softly on the shoulder and leaves, turning the light off on her way out. I wish she didn’t. I wish she could stay and sit with me. Hold my hand while I mourn what didn’t survive my brother’s wrath.

Maybe that piece of me had already been dying for years, I just couldn’t let go of it until now.

That piece was Penelope.

I fall asleep. Hours, maybe, stretch by and I gradually regain my sense of awareness. Slowly, I remember who I am. My body still aches, but I’m finding my way back.

Some time later, I hear a loud crack from outside the bedroom, like something being ripped off the wall. The door slams open, but as usual, I’m facing away from it. I lag to turn around, my limbs protesting, still too sore when I hear him call my name.

My heart stops.

I must be hallucinating.

I’m suddenly too terrified to look and find nothing but heartbreaking disappointment.

But then he says my name again and I am reborn.

Chapter 44

“Lenix?”Iwhisper.

The room is dark, her body huddled on a small single mattress in the corner. I can hear, more than I can see, a rustle on the bed. The terror coursing through my veins is near-paralyzing. Somehow I find my way out of the stupor and quickly palm the wall near the door looking for the light switch. Finally, the bedroom is bathed in light, and my body turns cold.

My eyes quickly assess the suffering, mistreatment and aftermath of me leaving her here for four days—four fucking despairing days, wondering what hell they were doing to her.

She tries to sit up, wincing as she does which finally spurs me to move. Three quick steps to the foot of the bed and I’m crouching down, my gaze leveling with hers, hands cradling her face in aching apology.

“Are you hurt?” I keep my voice steady but I’m seconds from blacking out into a murderous rage. I’m trying to keep it together for Lenix, but when her eyes find mine, everything else dissolves away. My focus zeroes in on her and her alone. She’s shaking most likely in shock.

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