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“Hi, girl! You need to tell those boyfriends of yours that they need to let you out more often,”she said.
“You know why they’re being so careful,”I reminded.
Ash was somber for a moment with a nod. Then she brightened again when the waiter came to take our dinner order.
“It’s really good to see you. How’s work?”I asked.
Ash dove into the position she had trained for in Europe. It was easy to tell how much she loved it, her happiness bubbling up in her words. It made me happy, to see her content with her chosen profession.
“I do miss coffee mornings with my best friend, though,”she finished.
“I miss you too! I promise we’ll do this more often,”I replied.
“So, how are things with your men?”Ash asked, raising her eyebrows.
I sighed and picked up my drink.
“That’s not the face of bliss,”Ash commented.
“No. I mean, I am happy. Gideon, Jaxon and Oliver, they’re amazing. They make me…feel things…I didn’t really know possible before,”I said.
“Ah, the sex is still going strong, huh?”Ash laughed.
I could feel the blush on my cheeks as I thought about how I started my morning with Jaxon’s head between my thighs.
“That’s definitely a strong part of it. It’s more, though.”
Ash looked at me over her glass, her eyes widening.
“Are you in love with them?”
“How do I even know? In my entire life, I’ve never had one healthy relationship, present company excluded, to teach me what it is to love. A lot of therapy taught me how to at least love myself and even that’s hard at times,”I explained.
“You know more than you think you do, Brooklyn. You’ve always been a dear friend to me, giving your heart to our friendship. There’s no reason you couldn’t do that with a man, well, your men.”
I thought about the relationships in my life that should have taught me what it felt like to love. My mother never took care of me as a mother should, only teaching me what it was like to fend for myself to survive. The first person to take interest in me was violent and abusive. My friendship with Ash had been the most healthy thing I had in my life. Until I met the Knights.
I was saved from having to say anything else by our meal being served. We continued to chat about how things had been since we were apart. I told her about my Muay Thai lessons and she was astounded by how I was keeping them a secret. When I explained that their protective behavior went a little above and beyond, Ash frowned.
“I like that they are keeping you safe, at least until Lyle can be found and handled. But don’t let them push you around. I’m glad you’re taking lessons. That must make you feel like you’re taking control,”she said.
“Yes! That’s exactly it. The guys don’t understand that,”I agreed.
It was so nice talking to someone that could see things from my perspective, understand how I was feeling. Our conversationsteered lighter, and we were laughing loudly, with tears in our eyes. It was always like that with Ash. She could make me forget everything else and just have fun.
The check came, and we were finishing our drinks, when Ash made a noise and grabbed my hand.
“I don’t want our night to be over. Let’s go dancing!”
“It’s a week night, Ash. We both work tomorrow!”I laughed.
“Oh, come on. We aren’t old ladies yet. Let’s live a little,”she replied.
I thought about it for a moment and knew the biggest problem would be telling the guys I was going out. Pulling out my cellphone, I saw I had missed a few messages from the guys while eating dinner, just telling me to have a good time and other sweet things. I created a quick group text with Gideon, Jaxon and Oliver, purposely leaving off Aiden because I didn’t want to sour my mood with him.
Me: Ash wants to go dancing. Going to hit Club 4. I’ll be home after. Frank can come with us.
I hit send before I could doubt myself. I wanted to go dancing, wanted to hang out with my best friend, wanted a bit of freedom. Club 4 was the safest club we could go to, as Gideon’s security team was well aware of Lyle and the threat he was to me. And with Frank shadowing us, it would be unlikely anyone would come near me.
