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I nodded my head to answer his question, but then stopped and shook it no. When he raised an eyebrow at me, I just shrugged, because I wasn’t sure what the answer was. I did know that to survive this, I needed them. They reminded me there was something decent in the world to survive for, something to wake up for every morning. The feelings I had for them were proof that I could feel something, despite what had been taken away from me.
And my feelings hadn’t changed. If anything, they were even stronger, knowing what they went through, the lengths they went to, just to save me. My eyes fell on Oliver, the man that told me he loved me. And it was real love, I knew that. Even if I was confused about what love felt like to me, I was confident about Oliver’s feelings for me.
With all of that in my head, I still knew there was a risk. Once I told them everything, there was a risk that I wouldn’t be worth their love any longer. There was a chance that I was too damaged, too dirty, too scarred to be the woman in their lives. I brought problems to their doorstep just by being in their home.
I pressed my hands against my stomach, trying to calm my nerves. Even knowing everything I knew, I still had a sliver of hope. A small piece of me hoped they would look beyond everything and still see me, the woman they were drawn to while dancing in their club. The one they touched and kissed and did beautiful things with. My sliver of hope wanted all of that to be enough.
“I heard from the doctor. But before I explain why they called, I feel like I need to tell you everything,”I said.
The four of them looked at each other before focusing back on me. None of them spoke, but there was tension in their bodies and I knew this couldn’t be easy for them to hear. I started fromthe beginning, because there was no way to skip around and leave things out. We couldn’t mend things and be together if there were secrets.
I told them about seeing Frank be shot and how suddenly Missy was there and how everything went dark. I explained how at first I was clothed, and Missy had come to harass me. When I talked about how she planned on being rid of me so she could be back with them, all four of them started to argue, mostly cursing at Aiden and his idiotic ways.
“Enough!”Aiden’s voice reverberated throughout the room and it shook me to my core.
We all focused on Aiden, and he stood to walk toward me. He put his hands out, as if he was approaching an injured animal. I didn’t move away, even if part of me wanted him to suffer for what he had put me through before I had left the house. But a larger part of me wanted Aiden back, wanted him with me, close and connected.
“Brooklyn, I’m sorry. First and foremost for what happened between us. I shouldn’t have iced you out. It’s the last thing I really wanted to do. I’ve been torturing myself since and it was my own dumb actions.”
I nodded and swallowed hard. The memory of us having sex on the hood of his car, how hot it was, flowed over me. I held onto the moment when we seemed to be connecting and then suddenly Aiden turned to ice, breaking my heart. Looking into his eyes now, I saw the door wide open for me, all of his emotions on the surface, available for me to see and hold on to.
“Secondly, as my brothers have so enjoyed pointing out, I fucked up royally with Missy. When she showed up at the club, I should have had her booted immediately. But I was so busy drowning the hurt I had caused that I didn’t really register she was there, or that she was there to cause you pain. I never wouldhave allowed a moment of that to happen if I had been in my right mind.”
Aiden had reached me and had softly put his hands on my arms, not pulling me in, not pushing me away. Just holding me still, as if he thought I wanted to bolt from the room. Maybe I did, in a way. This was all so heavy and deep, emotions I wasn’t used to warring inside of me. But that’s what my men did to me, and it was perfect.
“I’m sorry, sweetheart,”Aiden said again.
“Thank you,”I said, my voice barely a whisper.
Aiden’s eyes seemed to light with relief and I moved before he did. I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly. His arms around my waist lifted me to my toes as he hugged me. I could feel his body tremble around mine, and I knew we were both at the edge of restraint.
He carefully released me and held my hand for a long time before returning to his seat. I took a deep breath that seemed to shudder. That was one hard part of the situation down. I could easily forgive Aiden. He had hurt me, but we all had our damage. We just had to work together to communicate and not cause pain we didn’t intend. Which was just another reason I needed to finish telling them everything from my time with Lyle.
When I continued, I started with Missy injecting me with something again and how I didn’t wake again until I was almost naked and partially tied down. Gideon stood abruptly, and I stopped talking. He motioned for me to continue, but rage was written all over his features as he paced behind the couches. I watched him for a moment, debating how much detail I should go into.
“Just tell us, stellina. Whatever you need to say, whatever you want to tell us, it’s ok.”His words were meant to be encouraging, but he was clearly too angry to stay still.
I didn’t see the need to go through each individual detail. What was the point in torturing all of us with reliving it?
“Ok. I’m going to cut to the chase. You saw the cuts in my leg. Lyle’s whole goal was to ruin me for anyone else. He wanted to break my body to make sure no one would want me. He thought he would break me down until I accepted him back. He touched me…everywhere…”I trailed off, as my breathing felt heavy. I closed my eyes to get my bearings, when a loud crack made me jump.
Aiden, Jaxon and Oliver had jumped from the couch. All three of them turned to stare at Gideon. It took just a moment to realize, the hole in the wall next to him had been made by his fist. All thoughts flew out of my head as I rushed to him.
“Gideon!”
I grabbed his hand and looked at his knuckles, where blood began to well. Jaxon appeared next to us with a bar towel in his hand. I carefully pressed it to his knuckles and put pressure on the wounds. Ash came rushing into the room, with Cain nonchalantly following.
“What was that?”She asked.
“I told you, we need to stay outta their way, yeah?”Cain said.
I looked over to my best friend. Seeing the indecision in her face, I gave her a small smile.
“Everything is fine, Ash. Just give us some time.”
Ash was definitely not sure about leaving me alone, but Cain steered her back toward the kitchen and we were alone again.
“The wall had nothing to do with this.”My quip didn’t elicit even a small smile from Gideon.
