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“Peer pressure is a big thing when you’re a teenager.”
I give him a watery smile. “I was in the popular group, and the pressure to be amazing all the time was full-on. When he offered to show me how to kiss, I said yes. There was a boy at school I liked, and I was nervous because I hadn’t kissed anyone before. Mav and Grim made sure of that.” He laughs, kissing my hand that’s still entwined in his. “It was just a kiss,” I whisper, “but he did it a few times, and when I didn’t want to, he’d look upset, and I hated that too. He’d been nice, buying me things, and I felt like I was being ungrateful if I said no. So, I let him kiss me a lot. And, of course, that soon got boring because he was an adult and adults do adult stuff.” I wipe my eyes again.
“That’s what he said, adults do adult stuff, and I remember thinking,but I’m not an adult yet.But he started slow, yah know, so I almost made excuses in my own mind. Weeks in and he was telling me he liked me, that I was his. He made me think I should be flattered because he was Ripper, all the women at the club wanted him, and he’d chosen me. He said it was an honour when a biker chose his ol’ lady.”
“Didn’t Maverick or Grim know anything? They watched you so closely that you couldn’t even get a first kiss with a boy you liked.”
“They watched me outside the club, but inside, we were all safe. Besides, Dad put Ripper on me as my minder. He came most places with me, and it wasn’t unusual to see us together a lot.”
“He kind of laid claim to you?”
I nod. “But in secret. He said the club girls would turn on me, probably beat the crap out of me. He said his brothers and my dad wouldn’t understand what we felt for one another. One time, he came back from a long run with the others. I heard him having sex with a club girl, and I cried. He caught me, thinking I was jealous.” I take a breath. “I wasn’t. I was relieved. I thought maybe he’d changed his mind and I’d finally be free.” I shake my head. “But I wasn’t. That was the first night he raped me. We’d spent so long doing other stuff, I didn’t think it could get any worse. I was wrong.” I can see the pain in Arthur’s eyes, and I cup his face. “I’m glad he’s dead. I wish he’d suffered more.”
“I can’t believe no one saw anything,” he mutters angrily.
“My dad did.” Arthur looks up at me in surprise. “But he blamed me. He said I dressed like a whore, so how could he blame his Vice President for treating me like one. I reminded him of my mother, and he hated her because she had an affair with Crow’s dad. But after that, Ripper wasn’t left alone with me again, and Dad put a lock on my bedroom door. He must have had words with Ripper because he never knocked again. That was when I was sixteen.”
“He abused you for three years?”
I nod. “Of course, then Dad died, and Ripper tried to bully me into having sex with him. By then, I think I’d become an obsession.” I frown, unsure. “Or maybe he hated how confident I was. He enjoyed seeing me scared.”
“Did you . . .”
I shake my head. “No. He was cruel and aggressive to me whenever people weren’t looking, but there was no way he was going to ever lay a hand on me like that again.”
ARTHUR
I lie beside Meli, with her wrapped in my arms, and I stare at the ceiling with her words circulating in my head. How can someone fucking hurt a kid? She was a cute thing, I’ve seen the pictures on her mirror of when she was younger, and she looked so innocent. He took that, and it makes me sick to my stomach.
“If you keep thinking about it, it’ll drive you mad,” she whispers into the darkness.
I kiss her on the head. “Sorry. I’m just processing.”
“What helps to calm the beast inside?” she asks, running her hand down my stomach.
I catch it before she can touch me. Sex is the last thing I want right now. “Usually, I kill someone.”
She scoffs. “Can I nominate Jolene?”
I laugh. “Or I go to the gym.”
She groans. “It’s midnight.”
“I think you’re pretty fucking amazing,” I say, drawing circles on her back with my fingers. “I’m happy you told me.”
“Me too,” she murmurs. “Maybe I’ll sleep better tonight.”
“I’m here to chase the bad dreams away, Angel.”
I wake early, leaving Meli to sleep. She tossed and turned for most of the five hours I laid with her. I didn’t sleep a wink, not because she was unsettled, but because I need to spill blood. It’s too late to make Ripper pay, but I can take the anger I feel and turn it on the E15 crew.
I bang on Albert’s door, and he yanks it open in anger. “What the fuck?” Then he realises it’s me and frowns. “Is Ma okay?”
“Yeah, it’s nothing to do with that,” I mutter, pushing my way inside and going through to the kitchen. “Did you talk to Jolene last night?”
“Yeah, she insists she doesn’t have a way to contact the Palmers. She said the three of them had a weekend of fun, they escorted her to the function you were at, and she’s not seen them since. They didn’t ask anything about her brothers or the businesses. They didn’t make her suspicious at all, and as far as she’s concerned, it was lots of sex and nothing more.”
“It’s too much of a coincidence, don’t you think?”
