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All train of thought was lost when he tossed me to the ground. My head hit so hard the thud echoed through the empty lot. But I wasn’t about to give up. Kicking and screaming, desparate to break free, I was no match for them. He unbuttoned his jeans while his accomplices tore my top off, one long slice with a blade I hadn’t noticed before now. Barely able to see through my tears, but I could have sworn I spotted a figure moving toward us. Anxiety assaulted me, I don’t know what happened next as I succumbed to the blackness as I passed out.
When I woke the next morning, it was in my own bed. I freaked out and kicked off the covers and then slid my hands up and down my torso, ensuring all body parts were still intact and unharmed. When I glanced down I realized I still had on what was left of the material they’d demolished. My jeans were dirty but still intact. I darted across the room and over to the window and peered outside. There sat my car, parked in its usual spot on the driveway. Somehow after all of that, I’d managed to drive myself home. Was this nothing more than a bad dream?
A chill swept through me and I rubbed my arms for warmth. I flinched as my right hand hit a sensitive area of skin. I glanced down and saw a hand-shaped bruise forming.
It wasn’t a dream.
I wanted to scream! Punch something! Turning full circle, looking for something to take this frustration out on, my eyes landed on the purse with the broken strap sitting atop my desk. My mind swirled so fast I dizzied, barely able to reach the bed before my legs gave away. On repeat my mind played the words—what in the hell happened?
Chapter Two
Jess
Today’s the day, the final stretch of my senior year at Sequoia High School in Surprise, Arizona begins.
Yeah, great, I live in Surprise—whoo hoo. It was a big ‘surprise’ to me when my parents announced two years ago, at the beginning of my sophomore year, that we were moving from Michigan to the beautiful rock-filled, devoid of all color town of Surprise, strategically located in the Arizona desert. Nothing but cacti, rattlesnakes, and scorpions survive here because it’s too damn hot. The cities actually pay you to zeriscape, that’s their fancy word for landscaping your yards with rock. What’s really crazy is some people paint their rocks green to psyche themselves into believing it’s grass.
Livid doesn’t even sum up how I felt when my parents told me we were moving and I didn’t talk to them for weeks after. Well, it felt like weeks to me, but in essence, it was probably only a few days at most. My mom told my dad, “It’s just another phase she’s going through, ignore her and she’ll come around.” No one knew me better than my dad and he was well aware that wasn’t how this would go down.
Since moving to Arizona I’ve made two friends, or so I thought. Kara Brewer and Anna Gomez. I’ve never felt like I belonged here, or anywhere really for that matter. Not in this school with my so-called peers, not even within my own family.
Never will I stand out in a crowd, nor would I want to. Auburn hair and hazel eyes, both attributes are more common than you know. There’s literally nothing special about me. Trendy fashion is my nemesis. I’m happiest when wearing jeans and basic t-shirts. Throw in a pair of Vans or even better, flip flops, and I’m good to go—simplicity at its finest. I love sports, but have two left feet so I can’t play a single one without inflicting pain upon myself or others standing nearby.
I grab my backpack from the desk chair and jog downstairs, barely breathing between bites as I consume a bowl of cereal. A quick kiss to the muzzle for my dogs Dash and Violet, I bolt out the front door. In typical Jess fashion, I’m running late. I swear I’ll be late to my own funeral. Foot to the pedal, I rev up the engine of my faded emerald green 1971 VW Bug and take off to endure what is certain to be another fun-filled high school day.
Thank fuck it’s nearly over.
It’s been several weeks since that night and I still have no recollection of what happened after I blacked out. I haven’t run into those guys, which I’m more than thankful for, but I also haven’t had the balls to go back to that theater either.
Needless to say, outside of work, I don’t do much outside of the house. Occasionally I’ll run out and pick up things I need, but I go from point A to point B, back to point A and nowhere else. Fear is a persistant bitch that slaps you in chains and makes you its prisoner. On top of that, it’s too damn hot to go outside. The deadly heat only makes me miss Michigan more. While summers there were humid, but never hot like the depths of hell Arizona reigns prince over, they were at least bearable. Trees and lakes everywhere helped curb the high temps. More than earning its nickname of the Great Lakes state. There was always plenty to do, although the winters in Arizona are much easier to contend with than Michigan’s were.
I haven’t told a soul about that night. I’m not sure if that is out of embarrassment or because I don’t truly know what happened. I’m certain things didn’t escalate though I don’t know why, but the humiliation alone is more than I can bear. So, I make up excuses whenever I get invited out, which is few and far between, choosing to use the lame-ass excuse that finals are coming up and I need to study.
Which isn’t a complete lie.
Always looking over my shoulder. That’s the person I’ve become, the eerie feeling of being watched only to turn my head and find no one there. I know I’m being paranoid and need to get over it, but that’s easier said than done. Besides, I have no idea if those guys are still out there moving from victim to victim. God, I hate these thoughts. They literally keep me awake at night.
Shake it off and focus.
That should be my new motto.
I received acceptance letters from three of the colleges I applied to—ASU, MSU and Brown. With the impending deadlines looming, I’m struggling with picking one. Something’s holding me back, though I have no clue what it is. Maybe if I spend the free time in class and actually force myself to focus on making a choice, that would help. Then all that remains is picking a major, a decision forming a path into my future.
Where’s a crystal ball when you need one?
Luke Watson is my ex-boyfriend, but we broke up the beginning of our senior year. I’m grateful I don’t have the demands of dealing with another piled on top of the adult-sized pile of shit I’m currently wading through. He is the captain of our school hockey team—yes, believe it or not, hockey is huge in the desert. Some schools such as ours even have their own teams. I broke up with him shortly after all this crap went down. He wanted more than I was willing to give and after that, I decided it was time to follow my gut and my gut had been telling me to get the hell away from him. He called me a bitch, slammed his locker door shut, and stormed off down the hallway. A true testament to his level of maturity, or lack thereof.
Kara and Anna told me I was “freaking insane” to quote them, for dumping Luke. “What’s wrong with you, Jess, have you lost your mind? He’s the hottest guy in school.” Kara shared that rather loudly during lunch period in the middle of the school cafeteria. I swear, every freaking head turned our way. Why’s it always dead silent when someone starts talking shit?
The entire time Luke and I dated she drooled over him, and acted like a total idiot whenever he was around. I’ve never trusted her. In all honesty, I’ve never trusted anyone but my father and grandmother. I’m pretty sure Kara and Luke had been screwing around since we broke up, probably even while we were dating, but she hasn’t fessed up to that. Yet. Maybe she’s afraid of hurting my feelings or that I would kick her ass. Whatever, neither of them are worth the problems that would cause, but it sure as hell would be a great way to get rid of some pent-up aggression.
The first bell rings as I get out of my car. I jog my way to get to first period on time. Unfortunately, it’s the one class I still have with Luke. He used to wait for me outside the gate at the student parking lot, now he just sits at his desk and glares at me while his smart-ass jock friends make snide comments loud enough for all to hear. Mentally chanting it’s almost over has become my go-to. When it is, Luke will go far away to UMD on a hockey scholarship this fall and rumor has it, he won’t be there long because the NHL scouts have already met with him and his parents. Unfortunately, that has made him even cockier.
What a fucking tool.
Finally, first hour ends as the bell chimes and the student cattle drive mosey on over to the next stall. What a waste of time the last couple days of school are. The teachers gave the seniors their finals a week ago so it’s pretty stupid to make us finish these last couple of half days. Lunch isn’t served today or tomorrow due to the early release schedule so there’s really no reason to be here.
The swift change in weather as I walk to my car is something straight out of an Alfred Hitchcock movie. The sky has turned an ugly shade of gray. A loud clap of thunder roars as the heavens unleash a torrential downpour. Considering it’s not monsoon season, this was wildly out of place. These angry bad boys are cruising across the sky like they’re on the hunt.
