Page 105 of Darkest Desires


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Is ‘immediately’ too early to pick up our conversation? Perhaps.

“Where are we going?” I ask instead.

Elias responds with a non-committal hum. “Toward the coast. I think it would be nice to find a pleasant overlook of the oceanside.”

He was serious about the scenic drive and stargazing, then.

“Sounds romantic,” I tease. And I am only teasing, but Elias shoots me a look in return and leans over to kiss me firmly, and the abrupt affection leaves me flustered.

Even though the end of January makes it five months now, and we’ve been on more than a few real dates, sometimes he’ll do something sweet that catches me off guard and leaves me blushing like a schoolgirl.

I duck my head and turn to stare out the window, watching the lights flash past as Elias pulls out of the parking area and heads toward the freeway.

Now that the option is there, what do I ask? Elias said it was complicated. I don’t even know where to begin.

“Elias…” I start hesitantly.

There’s a slight increase in the tension of his hands on the steering wheel. “You’re curious. Ask then, dear. I cannot promise an answer, but I will provide what information I can.”

I pause. Maybe I don’t even want an answer, but at the same time, not knowing eats me up inside. “Is it… unpleasant? Your past?”

“Yes,” Elias acknowledges. “We’re demons. We’re not pleasant creatures.”

I let the silence lie after that. It’s not an uncomfortable silence, despite the weight of the claim. Elias simply seems thoughtful, his expression serious.

When he speaks again, we’ve left the city, and the freeway is lined with trees, with a hint of ocean salt tangible in the air.

“Caelan still struggles sometimes with what we are, in terms of the touch of humanity we gained. And I understand that. It is… difficult to be viewed as an abomination.”

“You’re not abominations at all,” I cut in.

Elias laughs grimly. “You are sweet but not even remotely familiar with the world beyond yours. We are powerful, but abominations. Even if our situation allowed us to traverse dimensions as before, we would be distinctly unwelcome.” He spares a long glance at me. “I will tell you the full story if you would like. Abbreviated.”

“I would like,” I agree readily.

“You understand that ‘demons’ is just a colloquialism we use. It is the closest descriptor your language has for what we are. But we are, simply, or rather…” his expression darkens for a second, “… we’re creatures of another plane.”

I nod. “I understand.”

“A long time ago, we were viewed as… old gods, I suppose you would say.”

“You’re anold god?”

Elias laughs at my shock. “No more than we are true demons. Vernacular of the time.”

“What time was that?” I ask, staring at him as I try to wrap my head around this new information.

He shrugs lightly. “I could not say for sure. A few thousand years ago.”

The blood drains from my face. “You’re that old?” I knew, obviously and without a doubt, that the age gap was significant. Technically speaking, they do not age the same way, but thousands of years is pushing it, surely.

“No. For the vast majority of that time, I was sealed in an ageless stasis.”

“Oh. Okay.”That’s better, I suppose?Though it raises a whole host of new questions. “How does that happen?”

Elias’ knuckles tighten slightly on the wheel. I don’t often see the anger he vents into a lot of Goëtica’s work in person, but now I see a flash of it across his face. He regains his control swiftly, but I do not miss how his lips curl up into a snarl.

“Petty jealousy and territorial struggles,” he says disdainfully. “As I say, we were viewed as gods, of sorts. There was a time when my kind interacted more freely with your plane and often came to be worshiped. We embraced it. There were those who truly wanted to help, those who were merely mischievous, and those whose intentions were nothing but malicious.”

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