Page 138 of Darkest Desires


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“Ah, that’s right. Did you still want to learn?”

“Of course.”

“You got as far as talking about amplitude,” Caelan supplies helpfully, his mouth still full.

“I recall,” Elias says. With our food finished, Elias moves his and my plates to the side to make room for him to create his liquid shadow diagram anew. “We’ve covered this as a one-dimensional example. But the reality is far more complex.”

I immediately wonder if bringing this up again was the best idea after all. The alcohol has my head feeling a little fuzzy. Too late for second thoughts, though, as Elias is already diving straight back in as if the interruption never happened.

Elias draws a cylinder in the air, the shadow stretched out like faint fog to leave it transparent. The original sine wave cuts through the center on a vertical axis as if the cylinder had been sliced in half. And the face of that halfway cut is decorated with a squiggle.

Then he circles his finger, and the sine wave rotates, leaving multiple halfway cuts intersecting like the spokes of a wheel.

“Souls are far from one-dimensional. If that singular frequency I drew exists on a simpleXYplane, there are also countless planes in addition to that. As if…” Elias traces over the ends of each cut crossing the circular face of the cylinder, “… each of these lines is another plane. Multiple frequencies, multiples planes, all interacting together to form a singular cohesive entity, the exact number is near infinite. Every fragment of energy making up a soul carries that same signature.”

I blink and take a deep breath. “Okay.”

He smiles, seeing he’s reaching the edge of where I can follow. “Even this is simplified, but you start to understand the complexity.”

I nod. Complex is right.

“Now, the original question was about why you couldn’t visit other dimensions, correct?”

“Yeah, something like that.”

“There is a certain level of alignment required to harmonize with and exist in a dimension. There needs to be…” Elias pauses and frowns. “Hmm… the analogy falls apart somewhat, but there needs to be a suitable matching frequency between the soul and the energy level of the dimension. Like a radio station, perhaps.”

“Radio stations,” I repeat slowly. “I can see that. So… the channel would represent a dimension, right? And you must turn the dial to match so you can access it.” I trace my finger over the cylinder he’s created. It feels like cold static beneath my touch, just like when his shadows brush against me, then I look up questioningly. “The soul is the dial?”

Elias hums. “Yes. I suppose that works.” He highlights one line on the wheel, turning it to a burning ember for a moment. “In this orientation, if we say this is the natural state of the soul, the dial is tuned to a particular dimensional channel. The energy of the soul must change orientation to align to a new channel.” This is followed by him rotating the cylinder in midair. The brightened line fades, and a new one highlights.

“All right. I get it, I think.” I don’t quite.How can a soul change orientation? What does that mean for the person involved?But close enough.

Caelan snorts from across the table. “You two are precious, but you’re giving me a headache just watching you.”

“We’re almost done,” Elias says. “You asked why humans can’t cross dimensions? This is why. You, beholden to your material realm and with material perceptions, cannot ‘turn the dial,’ as it were. And trying to force a dial to turn when it is designed to stay in one position…”

Caelan makes a snapping noise with his fingers. “It’ll break.”

“Oh.”

“If a dimensional crossing is forced, this frequency signature of the soul is forced entirely out of alignment. In simple terms, yes, they break. The energy becomes deranged and unrecognizable. They would not come out of it the same person.”

I swallow. “Okay. So. No dimensional crossing.”

Elias laughs lightly. “Quite. Even the abyss is dubious. That would be akin to twisting the dial just the slightest amount, enough to slip from your ‘channel’ into the static and white noise at the edges of it. Do you understand now why I don’t like you in there for too long?”

“Yeah.” Suddenly, his overprotectiveness makes a lot more sense, and it makes my chest tighten to realize the danger I could have been in without them. “Yeah, I do.”

“Any more questions while we choose dessert?”

I don’t know. My mind is already spinning a little just from that much. So, I bury my head into the menu and consider safer options, like what dessert sounds most appetizing.

I want to know more. It’sfascinating, and Elias is doing his best to explain in a way I can understand. He’s so damn patient about it, but it’s a lot to process.

“Can… I have the pistachio soufflé?” I ask.

Caelan grins. “That’s my kind of question.” He purrs, then leans over to look upside down at the dessert menu with me.

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