Page 2 of Darkest Desires


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All right. I have to give her that one. “Fine. They are. Unapologetically so, and I love them for it.”

Grace is going to find out firsthand. One of the biggest draws about seeing Goëtica live in concert? They’re in character for those too. Special effects and all.

‘Edgy’ or not, they wield it well. They have such a natural confidence about them. They fit the roles so perfectly that it hardly even seems like an act. It’s not cringy or hard to take seriously, not when they own it the way they do.

In fact, they almost do it too well sometimes. They’re a bit terrifying. Elias and Caelan—the two band members. Or the two characters, I suppose. Caelan is violent, unpredictable, and a little sadistic, with a vicious penchant for blades and blood. Elias is more refined but commands powerful black magic and confidence to match, with a smile that could either break your heart or steal your soul. Likely at the same time.

Yet they’re also the most captivating people I’ve ever seen. There’s an energy about them that draws me in, utterly hypnotic. Always has been.

Now that Grace has brought it up, and we’re so close to seeing them, I can’t stop thinking about it. About them, about the whole demon gimmick thing. The concept and how convincingly they play it is a little terrifying but athrillat the same time.

It’s the bad boy trope taken to the extreme. That’s all.

But damn, they got me good with it.

I flick through their songs, picking out the best to share with Grace. A mix of their most popular releases—the ones which will probably be played at the concert—and my favorites of the lesser-known songs, avoiding some of the less palatable ones. Some of them, especially the accompanying videos, get twisted. A little gory at times. Aesthetically so, a grotesque beauty to them, but it’s fucked up. And a hell of a lot hotter than it should be.

Thankfully, there’s not too much of the drive left, and I occupy it with singing along. Grace is amused but doesn’t seem to mind. Her fingers tap the drum beat against the steering wheel once she gets a feel for the rhythm of the songs.

The venue is one I’ve been to several times before. The looming white wave of the concert hall rises beyond the walls and line of palm trees surrounding it. Immediately beside it is a dark ocean of tarmac. We’re late, having come straight from work and through rush-hour traffic, so the parking lot is already packed.

After parking, we hurry through to the grand archway and see there is no longer a line outside the building.

“It sounds like the opening band is already starting,” I say once inside.

Grace nods in agreement. Since we are already late and she’s our driver for the night, we decide to pass on drinks and ease our way into the crowd in the main arena.

Searing flashes of colored lights cut like beams through the uproarious crowd. Cramped together amongst the bustle and sweat, we wind our way closer to the stage and into a decent position to see. I can already feel the adrenaline thrumming through me. It’s noise, excitement, and alcohol, the atmosphere heady. I’m not the most familiar with the band playing currently, but their songs have a solid bass, and it thrums through the building like a heartbeat.

I love concerts. Something about them makes me feel alive.

Of course, there’s also the anticipation about seeing them. Maybe a little trepidation. Goëtica. Elias and Caelan.

I don’t want it to be a disappointment. I’ve been hyping myself up for it for so long, not meaning to, but still letting excitement get the better of me, and I worry that I’ve set my expectations too high. How well can they truly replicate the effects from their videos, editing and all, in a live setting? Yet if they don’t appear as something convincingly supernatural, I know I’ll be let down.

Idiotic expectations, really. Idiotic, all of it. I shouldn’t care so much about a band, but I can’t help the way I’m drawn to them. Dragged into the stories they tell with helpless fascination. Something about them feels oddly like it… fits.

Forget demons. Sometimes I wonder if they’re sirens.

My own thoughts make me snort at their ridiculousness. I’m grateful for the distraction of the music and roar of the crowd. I wish I knew the opening band better and knew their songs well enough to sing along becausethatis one of the parts I love most. There is no self-consciousness at a concert—heaven knows it’s too damn loud to hear any single individual singing in the crowd—and the energy is utterly infectious.

And then it’s over. A short intermission while the instruments are changed out, and the stage is prepared for the main event.

During the break, we do get drinks, though only sodas. It’s too hectic to really talk, with background music playing and a cacophony of other voices in loud conversation. We use the distraction and general shuffling of people to find a spot closer to the stage.

My nerves are thrumming. I clutch my plastic cup tightly to cover the slight shake in my fingers.

We watch the backstage crew work, readjusting microphones and testing volume levels and sound output. Then Elias and Caelan step on stage.

The reaction hits me like a truck.

Everyone screams and cheers, and I cheer with them, but it seems distant in my ears, like the faint roar of the ocean in a seashell. Everyone’s so tightly packed, jostling against each other, arms raised and full of energy, yet they might as well be a mile away. I’m suddenly isolated in my own head, more acutely aware of the static tingles raising the hairs on the back of my neck than anything else.

I have enough sense to remain standing. If I were alone, though, I would have sunk to my knees.

Fuck. This isn’t how I normally am at all. I’ve been to plenty of concerts. Why is it them? I’m not this invested. Excited, sure. I like them, yeah. It’s nothing that should feel sovisceral.

Grace had accused me of having a crush on them before. I’d laughed that off. At twenty-six, I’d hoped that I would be over childish infatuations with celebrities. I was never much one for that, even when younger, but perhaps I should reconsider my position now. Even so, no crush has felt like this—dissociated and helplessly drawn in. Seeing them in person makes my chest tighten and my heart flutter in a way I can’t define.

Source: www.allfreenovel.com
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