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It’s an actualbath, easily big enough for both of us, nestled in a large alcove, taking up most of the room. It’s mostly full now, so Caelan turns off the taps, and I step in to sink into the water.
I can’t help the quiet moan that escapes my lips. The warm water feels so good, relaxing muscles I hadn’t even realized I’d been using. If it weren’t for Caelan being there too, I probably would’ve fallen asleep in moments. As it is, I melt boneless against him.
Caelan takes my hands in his, at first exploring them, tangling our fingers together. He turns over my palms, and with the heat from exertion and warmth of the water, the veins have risen close enough to the skin’s surface to be visible, faint blue lines that Caelan traces with the tip of his fingernails—following the lines across my palm and down my wrists.
He shifts behind me, growling softly. “You’d look so gorgeous with your veins sliced open and bleeding for me.”
That statement makes the hairs on the back of my neck rise. “Caelan?”
“What you’d look like squirming beneath my knife…”
“Um.” The first hints of anxiety flutter in my chest, and I have to know. “Is this a you-want-to-murder-me thing or fun-kinky-knife-play thing?”
Caelan blinks at me for a moment, then snorts an inelegant laugh. “Aww. Knife play, doll. I wanna ruin you, but not to the point of breaking. You wouldn’t be any fun to play with that way.”
I’m oddly fine with taking his word for it. “Okay. In that case… I’m listening.”
“Yeah?” He grins. His hands sink lower, beneath the water now, but he only holds my waist, rubbing circles with his fingertips. “I can play nice if I have to. Elias is right about one thing. There’s no point hurting the ones who are loyal to us. But you gotta know I’m a sadist at heart, baby.”
“Mmm…” I agree. I do know. At least, I’d assumed from the things I’ve seen in his videos, and maybe making assumptions about that sort of thing isn’t wise, but Caelan’s claim is far from a surprise. Perhaps that’s the best way to put it.
This conversation makes my heart rate pick up again. From interest or fear, I’m not so sure. Maybe a mix of both.
“Not all the time. But… it’s like an itch that’s gotta be scratched. And if I can’t, it makes things difficult to work out in any kind of long-term arrangement, you know?”
Wait—my brain stalls over that last part. Why is he talking about long-term arrangements? Is that a thing they evendo?Is he thinking, maybe…
I can’t think about that. I can’t get my hopes up because I’m already playing with fire getting as attached as I have.
I turn my attention to the other implication behind his statement. “Are you asking if I’m okay with knife play?” I ask, trying to wrap my head around what’s even happening with this conversation.
Caelan’s only response is a lazy shrug.
It’s already kind of come up before, but I suppose he wants clarification. I never actuallysaidit. I turn over, still in his arms, so we end up chest to chest—face to face.
“I…” I take a breath. “I’m gonna be honest. I’ve never tried it. I don’t know for sure. But… I like the idea of it, in theory. Nothing too deep. But if you were to, um, just cut the surface layers of the skin enough to make it bleed or something. Maybe, tie me down and carve little patterns into my skin, shallow but deep enough to scar for a few weeks, and I… mmm. I’d like to give it a go sometime. Really like to.”
“Would you now?” He purrs.
“Yes,” I say, more confidently this time. I’ve kind of had a passing interest for a while now, and I knowexactlywhen that curiosity started and who to blame for it, but it’s not something that I would ever seek out in everyday life. I’m not that stupid. Finding someone skilled enough to do it safely and who I trust enough to play with me like that is not going to happen soon. Not with any human.
But with Caelan…
“On one condition,” I add.
“What’s that?”
I hesitate. Maybe condition is too strong a word. It’s more of a request. And a weird one, now I think about it, but, well, if we’re discussing kinks anyway. “Could you hold the knife against my throat while you fuck me sometime?”
Caelan’s eyebrows raise, but his expression looks thoroughly delighted. “You kinky littleshit,” he crows, and I blush.
“I’m not the one with the knife kink!”
“Except you kinda are, from what I’m hearing.” He grins.
I bury my face in the crook of his neck, hiding in embarrassment.
Caelan only purrs, still holding me close and running soft caresses up and down my sides. Soft, except for being able to feel his sharp nails trailing across my skin in a way that makes me want to shiver. “Mm, I knew you were gonna be a fun one.”
