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I need to get a grip.
“You’re quiet,” Elias notes once we’ve sat down and settled ourselves at a round, glass patio table nestled back into some greenery at the edge of the balcony. Elias can sound so genuinely concerned like this, not pushing, just allowing me the space to talk if I want to.
He’snice. He has been so goddamn nice through all of this, and it’s growing more and more difficult to reconcile the way he acts toward me compared to what I know he is and what he’s capable of.
It seems too good to be true, and part of me is waiting for this to self-destruct around me.
I shake my head. “Just thinking. Dumb anxious shit. Distract me?”
“Hmm. Well, first distraction, do you fancy a cocktail?”
Caelan perks up at that. Elias offers me the drink menu, but Caelan intercepts and grabs it from him first.
“That’s more like it,” Caelan says emphatically. I can’t help but giggle, and Caelan directs a half-hearted glare in my direction. “Hey, the sweet free food and alcohol is the only reason I put up with the prick dragging me out to smarmy-ass restaurants at all.”
“Sounds reasonable,” I say, covering my smile with my hand.
“Elias enjoys showing off with this shit, like a fuckin’ overcompensating peacock or something. Believe me, the appeal wears off quick.”
“I hardly think he’s overcompensating. I’ve already tapped that, you realize. And so have you.”
Caelan lets out an inelegant snort. “All right, I’ll give ya that one. More like showing off how big his dick is, then.”
“You two realize I’m right here?” Elias asks, eyebrow quirked.
I laugh, and Elias lightly taps a finger against my thigh as a reminder to behave. I grin at him.
“To the original point. Cocktails?”
“Fuck yeah,” Caelan agrees before rattling off about three different selections from the menu. I make a more conservative request of just one drink for the time being.
With drinks and food ordered, the conversation turns back to me. Again. I still don’t understand their interest entirely, but they ask how I’ve been, what I have been up to, and how the degree is going. They even remember I’m about to sit for exams for my next to last semester and which classes I’m taking. I’m honestly surprised and flattered they paid so much attention at all.
I still feel bad that they always seem to center so much on me, though. I care about them, too, and want to know how their lives are going, but when I try to ask, they always deflect my questions. The now-finished tour proves a safe topic since they’ve already talked about that with me through our text conversations. But anything aboutthem, certainly about being demons, gets turned away.
That sort of information isn’t privy to human ears, I suppose, and there’s always the possibility that maybe they’re right, maybe I really don’t want to know. It still stings a little. As flattering as it is to have so much of their attention, I wish they could share more of themselves.
The arrival of our food serves as a distraction. Of course, it should have been obvious by this point that Elias would never take us anywhere that didn’t meet his standards, but I’m still pleasantly surprised. The food isgood.
“Mmm. I forgot why eating out is so great.” I sigh contentedly.
“How d’you forget?” Caelan laughs, quite happily shoveling his own meal into his mouth. “The eats are the only good thing about it.”
“Look, I don’t get out much, okay? The last time I went out somewhere nice for a meal was when I was with you guys last, actually.”
Elias gives a low, pleased hum. “Well, I’m glad to hear that.”
I glance at him. “How come?”
“It would have made the situation unpleasant if you had been seeing anyone else in our absence.” He keeps his tone light, but something about the statement, the possessive way he’s looking at me, makes the hairs rise on my arms. My heart skips a beat.
I shouldn’t be okay with that. There’s no official arrangement between us, not one that has ever been stated. Even if I accepted the status of our relationship as being friends with benefits, no one mentioned anything about being exclusive. I doubt Elias and Caelan are. I can’t,shouldn’t, spend my entire life hanging around waiting for a couple of goddamn demons who I might only see once in a blue moon. I can’t put my existence on hold for them. If Ihadhappened to go on a date in the meantime, that was my prerogative.
Except I hadn’t. I’ve been so hung up on them that I haven’t even looked at anyone else since.
“Why? You wouldn’t be jealous about it, would you?” I ask quietly. Because that’s what it feels like.
Elias’ eyes darken, and his hand grips my knee beneath the table. “I believewehave a claim on you first.” Though he keeps his voice soft and conversational, a minefield of danger lurks beneath the calm waters.
