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Excited nervous.
If weneedto have a serious conversation about it, they probably want to move things from playing and teasing to actually bringing some real kink into whatever this relationship of ours is.
My heart flutters in my chest.God, the elevator is taking far too long.
I pinch my thigh to remind myself to pay attention and take a deep breath.Focus.Don’t overthink this, get carried away, or do anything else stupid. Getting myself all worked up and turned on again by imagining what they could do to me will not help the situation.
We’re just going to talk.
Back in the room, Elias directs us to sit apart from each other, not trusting Caelan’s wandering hands, even though technically,Eliasis the only one who’s been significantly feeling me up recently. Caelan perches on the edge of the bed while Elias takes the chair from the desk. I turn the armchair to face them, kicking my boots off so I can curl my legs up and settle into it.
Honestly, I don’t even know where to start. It’s not that I’m not comfortable with them or the idea of this. It’s not that in the slightest. It’s just that—well—is thereanyway to announce what sort of kinky things you’d like someone to do to you for the first time that isn’t a little awkward? Not when we’re sitting to talk about it all seriously.
Elias leans over to touch the back of my hand. I start slightly, so caught up in my thoughts I didn’t notice him moving at first. “There’s no need to feel self-conscious,” he says reassuringly.
“Oh. I’m fine. I’m trying to figure out a way to phrase ‘please tie me up and spank me’ so that it doesn’t sound thirsty as fuck.”
Caelan cackles hard enough that he rocks backward with laughter. “I love having you around.”
I can feel my face heating, so I give them a small laugh to cover it. “That was a joke to break the tension,” I clarify. Maybe. It kind of slipped out without me thinking about it. “Though, uh, not that Iwouldn’twant to do that. It was the first dumb thing that popped into my head. You could. If you wanted to. I think I’d kind of like that. You know what? I’m going to stop talking now.”
“You’re adorable,” Caelan says.
Elias twines his fingers with mine and squeezes my hand before drawing away with an affectionate, amused smile. “That’s as good a place to start as any. How about we go through the more standard kinks to begin with, and you can inform us of your position on each?” Although his tone remains serious, there’s a glint in his eyes that I swear means he’s teasing me. “You appear to have some interest in bondage?” he suggests.
“Yes.” I clear my throat. I didn’t mean to come across quite so enthusiastic. “Um… yes. I’d be interested in that.”
“What type? Rope? Cuffs? Shackles? More complex shibari styles, or simply for the purpose of holding you in place during sex?”
“Oh. Jeez.” I’ve never putthatmuch thought into it. “Any of those sound good, honestly, but… I guess what I’ve thought about most would be having my wrists tied to a headboard, that sort of thing? I’d like that a lot.”
Elias shares a look with Caelan. “I’m certain that could be arranged,” he says. “Any limits?”
I shake my head. “I… don’t think so, not for bondage. Maybe worth noting my circulation is kinda shitty at the best of times? I can get pins and needles easily if I stay in the wrong position for too long. Is that the sort of information you need?”
“That’s perfect, darling. We’ll be sure to take care, in that case.”
“I don’t think it’d be a big issue. It’s never bothered me before when I… I mean, it’s more just I can’t stay kneeling for very long, mainly.”
Caelan catches the slip and raises an eyebrow. “When what?” he prompts, grinning wolfishly.
I pause. There’s really no need to be embarrassed. The whole point of this conversation is to be honest about what we want, isn’t it?
“I’ve tried tying myself up,” I admit. “A few times.”
“Is that so?” He purrs. “And whatelsehave you tried while you’re all alone?”
Elias interrupts, thankfully, before I’m obliged to answer. “Caelan, I think we’re straying a little from the point here.”
“It could be relevant,” Caelan defends, with a shrug and another heated grin in my direction.
Elias shakes his head. “Was it rope you used?” he asks, and it takes me a moment to realize he’s referring to the self-bondage.
“Oh. Yeah. I ordered a length of proper bondage rope online one time, and a silk tie I found. Why? And Caelan, stoplookingat me like that.”
“Useful to know what you already have experience with and are certain you enjoy.”
That makes sense.
