AllFreeNovel
Share Us
"I only meant that after the incident with your last arranged marriage—"
"You think I don't know all about that disaster?"
Nikolas breathed out sharply. "Ianora. Mother and Father were still under the impression that you favored Castor after all these years. You know that's why they didn't put up a fight, don't you?"
Her shoulders slumped for two reasons. Firstly, because she knew that Nikolas was likely right, their parents agreed to the marriage with Castor because they thought she still liked him—and in a way, as much as she hated to admit it, she did. Last night had proven as much.
And second, because Ianora was the one who hadn't spoken to her parents about the falling out with Castor after the arrangement with Johnathan went sour. She couldn't explain why, either. Perhaps some part of her heart had always expected she would end up in this position: that is, between a rock and a hard place, and no matter which way she went, she was liable to get squished.
She blinked, and her eyes burned with unshed tears at the thought of her parents and the immense love they had always shown her despite their strict ways and rigid rules. She knew they only wanted what was best for her, even if their choices were sometimes misguided by fear.
"It was a mistake not to tell them," Ianora conceded. "But I never thought it would come to this. Castor and I ... we are history, a pairing that should have happened thirty years ago. I'm not sure that we can work anymore, not with all this bad blood between us."
Could their entire world have ended up differently, had she told her parents from the beginning that the one she wanted to marry three decades ago was Castor? It seemed so futile to dwell on those thoughts now, but she couldn't stop the blink of anger arising when it came.
"I shouldn't be blaming myself for this," Ianora said. She squeezed her elbow around Nikolas' to keep herself steady. "Had they spoken to me about Johnathan all those years ago, had they tried to find another way to appease him instead of giving me away, we wouldn't be in this mess right now."
"They did not know what an awful man Johnathan was," Nikolas reasoned. "You must give them credit for releasing you from the deal as soon as he touched you."
"After he left me within an inch of my life! Mother and Father never learned their lesson after that incident. They still try to solve their problems the same way as they always have: by sellingmeto the highest bidder. Well, they lost, in both cases, because while Castor is appeased for the time being, how pissed do you think he's going to be when my ex-fiancé shows up to try and murder me?"
Nikolas' eyes darkened. "You know I won't let any harm come to you."
"How can you assure that when you're all the way on the other side of the world? Let's face it, Nikolas. There's nothing you or any of my brothers can do for me." Ianora's voice cracked. "I'm just as trapped as I was before this wedding."
"Maybe so, but you don't have to run anymore. Perhaps it's not what you want to hear right now, but I do believe it's possible that Castor still cares about you, even if his affections have been twisted over time."
Ianora swallowed, thinking of just how Castor had treated her last night after the wedding. And more painfully, what he'd said to her that morning. "How could you say that after everything he's done to me? To our family?"
"My sweet sister," Nikolas said while rubbing her shoulder, "I despised the man wholeheartedly for stealing you away in this fashion. And then I saw how he looked at you at the wedding."
"You mean you saw how badly he wanted to fuck me."
"He looked at you like you were the sun, Ianora. With so much love, it hurt to gaze for too long." He swallowed deeply, unable to hide the look of concern in his eyes. "You can't fake that. Love like that can be hidden or warped, but given time ..." He shook his head. "You might be trapped, but it could be far worse. Tell Castor about Johnathan. I promise you, that he will find a way to keep you safe. If only for his own vain reasons and to keep you for himself."
Ianora laughed. "At this point, I would prefer Johnathan kill me than live the rest of my life as Castor's prisoner."
But even as the words left her mouth, Ianora knew they were a lie. She was terrified of both Castor and Johnathan, but she had at least seen the sweet side of Castor in the past. She had also seen just how well he could treat her now, in the present. If he truly loved her, if she could find it in herself to love him again, perhaps they could find happiness together.
It seemed unlikely though.
"I'm sorry," he said softly. "It's my fault that you're in this position. I should have believed you when you told me how you truly felt about Castor."
Ianora shook her head, wiping away a stray tear. "No. It's not your fault," she said firmly, though a tremor of emotion in her voice gave away how deeply these words were affecting her. "But I wish I had found the courage sooner to speak with our parents about what really happened between Castor and me all those years ago."
Trying desperately not to let these feelings overwhelm her, Ianora stared at Nikolas pleadingly. She needed him now more than ever, for the pain and shame she felt threatened to consume her whole. If she couldn't find any glimmer in the darkness, how could she ever dream of surviving?
"It could be worse," Nikolas said. "It could always be worse."
Ianora nodded, knowing just how right he was. Johnathan could have restrained himself that night, waiting until after their wedding was finalized, then taken her to bed to beat and rape her once she was his property. Thankfully, he hadn't been that patient.
But Ianora felt as though, far too often, she was stuck thinking about how her situation could have been worse instead of how it could be better.
She was tired of settling for anything less than the goodness in her life that she deserved. But how would she get it if she was the only one who believed she deserved it?
There was only one way, Ianora decided. She had to prove to Castor and all the other men in her life that she wouldn't just roll over and accept her fate. No, as a queen, she still had the power to decide it.
Chapter 14 - Castor
