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It was like waking up from a dream. Not necessarily because she felt any strong emotions toward Vinir, but because if he were willing to give in to more intimate pleasures with her, then perhaps he would open the rest of himself to her eventually, too. Aelwen wasn't under the illusion that Vinir felt anything resembling love for her, but lust was a good start.
She wanted more than anything to be useful to him, to show him that she could be more than a burden thrown at him because of her father. And she would prove to her father that she could take care of her new husband and secure the tremulous alliance between their kingdoms.
But a part of Aelwen still wished for more. Being with him last night ... had been like a taste of what could be. His sweet attentiveness and gentle caresses, combined with his commands, had kept her comfortable the entire time. Aelwen basked in the afterglow of their sex, a smile curling on her lips while she relived those sensual moments.
When she finally shifted, rubbing her face against Vinir's chest, it woke him up with a start. He blinked at her in confusion before comprehension dawned on him, and he relaxed against her again.
"Good morning," he said quietly, giving her an amused smile as he noticed how content she still was.
Aelwen blushed, embarrassed that he'd caught her unawares and delighted to feel his gaze on her like that. He leaned in and pressed a kiss on her forehead before pulling back to look into her eyes again.
"How are you feeling?" he asked.
Aelwen nodded, shifting closer to him without thinking about it. She peered up at him shyly and smiled at the warmth in his eyes.
"I'm ... I'm feeling wonderful," she said, hoping he could sense the unspoken apology behind those words.
After all, last night had been spontaneous—while she needed to consummate their marriage for security, she had genuinely been ready to experience those pleasures with him. The only thing she felt a little guilty about was pushing him so hard when he'd clearly been resisting her for one reason or another.
"Good," he sighed, pulling away to sit up against the wooden headboard and stretch his arms above his head. "Because that's the first and last time that's going to happen."
Aelwen shot up, too. "What? Why? Didn't you have a good time?"
"Of course I did," he snapped, "but you don't know what a dangerous game you're playing. I could have hurt you unimaginably, and you've been throwing yourself at me like you're clueless."
"Maybe I am clueless then because I have no idea why you'd be so terrified of hurting me when you were far more gentle and patient with me last night than I ever expected you to be. Why is that, Vinir?"
He pulled away from her completely, crawling out of bed and turning away from her. He ripped the curtain open, revealing the star-covered sky, the full moon pregnant with luminosity.
"You're lucky," he growled.
"I was not. You must know about the things whispered about you and your sexual tastes—I was expecting to be walking into the jaws of a monster." Aelwen climbed out of bed after him, padding behind him and touching his shoulders. "But you chose to be kind to me."
"I didn't choose anything. I could have touched you and left you as a pile of writhing agony instead. Why would you willingly try to put yourself in that situation? Are you fucking crazy?"
"Maybe I am."
Vinir whipped around and grabbed Aelwen by the throat. For a second, she couldn't breathe, but he relaxed his hold enough, so she wasn't in pain. Still, she stared at him wide-eyed and terrified.
"You've walked into a monster's den, princess, and you've just used your free pass. I'd be careful about coming to me again without a way to defend yourself."
"Why are you so afraid?" Aelwen whispered. "Is it because of your curse? Let me help you, Vinir. You can trust me."
"Trust you!" He laughed. "You're an agent of King Sinnegard. Wife you may be, but I know where your loyalty will always lie: with the fae who spawned you. Don't talk to me about trust when I know your only goal is to get pregnant and keep yourself alive."
"You knew what I was after and did it anyway?"
"A moment of weakness that won't happen again. And if you're lucky, you'll get what you want out of it and keep yourself in your king's good graces."
Aelwen snarled and ripped herself out of his grip. To her surprise, Vinir let her. "How dare you talk down to me like I'ma common whore? I'm not as stupid as you think. I know you're hiding something. Last night, you gave me a glimpse of the man hiding beneath all those scars and rage, and he's not at all the monster you're pretending to be."
Vinir laughed. "You've been in my presence less than a week.Youhave no right to talk about me like you know me. You don't. You know nothing at all. Now get the fuck out of my sight."
Aelwen vibrated with rage as she grabbed her dress and shoved it over her head. She wanted to say a million things to this stubborn asshole, but none of them felt quite right.
So instead, she did exactly what he demanded. She left without another word at all.
But she still knew she was right about him.
