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He shuddered as he remembered how close he had come to touching Aelwen during the trial earlier that day—he could have hurt her just as easily as he'd almost killed Lord Sawgar. He felt the fear of his curse like an icy hand squeezing at his heart; he was afraid of hurting her again, no matter how hard he tried to control himself.
"It feels like my skin is always on fire," he said quietly, feeling overwhelmed by the whole situation. "Sometimes it feels like my veins are filled with lava, and all I want to do is release it and let out all the pain and anger inside me."
He looked away from Roland then, ashamed of how weak and vulnerable this curse made him feel.
"At first I had thought the curse could be a source of power, using it to punish my enemies and those who dared oppose me. But it became old fast. Unable to touch anyone ... unable to claim any of the intimacies I crave."
"Ah, I see now," Roland said. "This is about your wife. You want her but can't have her because you don't want to hurt her."
"It's more complicated than that. I have been with Aelwen, and the curse didn't affect her. But I can't risk it happening again. The thought of unintentionally causing her harm is unbearable." Vinir sighed heavily, his shouldersslumping forward as if he were carrying the world’s weight on them.
"I thought you didn't like her? Too desperate, you said?"
Vinir snarled. "Don't you say that about her! I was a fool, angry that I’d been put in this impossible position. I wanted to keep my distance from her! I didn't want this entanglement because it would be far too easy to slip up and make a mistake."
"But you already did, and you said so yourself that she wasn't hurt."
"That time. Next time, we might not be so lucky. I don't know what to do. If there was a way to break this curse..." He trailed off, looking up at the ceiling in despair.
"There might be a way," Roland said after a while.
Vinir perked up again.
"You think so? What do you know? Tell me!"
Roland laughed. "Relax, I'm getting to that part. When I was in Daihalsa, King Dominick's curse seemed impossible too. During our first month imprisoned there, we tried everything we could think of to break it. Used every magical possibility inside the barrier and had a fair few people come from outside it to try and break it too."
"And nothing," Vinir guessed.
"And nothing. Until ... my sister. Dominick always wanted her, you know, ever since he first laid eyes on her. I warned him away, you know. She's always been an uptight bitch if you ask me, but he was fixated, and I couldn't stop him." Roland smirked. "Turns out he was right all along. When he finally got her to fall in love with him, that's when the curse lifted."
Vinir frowned, unsure exactly what his friend was trying to tell him. "You already told me they fell in love, but my opinion on the matter hasn’t changed. Love is a waste of time and only an illusion."
"I'm telling you, love is the most powerful magic," Roland said, his voice filled with wonder. "It can create miracles, make the impossible possible, and it seems it can even break curses that were supposed to be unbreakable. It's a power that no one can deny or ignore. Love is truly a force of nature. "He paused for a moment before continuing, looking deep into Vinir's eyes. "You just have to find someone you love and who loves you back—someone who will accept your curse and be brave enough to stand by you no matter what happens. Then, together, you can fight against this curse together in whatever way it takes."
Vinir's innate cynicism prevented him from believing such a wishy-washy solution was even possible. How could something as simple as love solve a powerful curse like this?
"That has to be your most ridiculous idea yet, my friend," Vinir said. "How could you possibly believe something like that?"
"Because I've seen it happen. Do I look like a romantic to you?"
Vinir smirked. "Seeing what I walked in on, no, you're still the playboy I remember."
"So, you should listen to me when I say that love is likely the answer. Can you find that with Aelwen? Do you need to look elsewhere?"
The thought of looking at another woman the way he did Aelwen made Vinir sick to his stomach. She was his wife. He’d sworn a vow to her. Even if he had not been a good husband toher so far, he would never do something as selfish as cheat on her.
That meant he had to find love in their relationship somewhere, didn't he?
At least, if he was to try Roland's crazy theory that they could use the power of love to lift the curse that had tormented Vinir for the past year.
"I... I don't know if I can do that," Vinir said hesitantly. "Aelwen is my wife, but there is no emotion between us. I desire her, that's all."
Roland smiled. "Lust is the first step toward love if you ask me. If you love her body, you can learn to love the rest of her. She can't be that bad, can she?"
Despite the coldness between them, he knew deep down that Aelwen was a good woman who just wanted to make her husband happy. She had been so patient and understanding when Vinir refused to talk about their situation, never losing hope that things would get better one day.
Maybe Roland was right. Perhaps if he took the time to get to know Aelwen, he'd find out that there was more to her than his first impression of a spoiled princess. If anything, it was worth a try—what else did he have to lose?
