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Despite Lissa's insistence that Aelwen stay in bed today, she could do nothing of the sort. Her mind was abuzz, eager to deliver the news to at least one party besides her maid, who would be overjoyed by the news.
She dug into one of her dresser drawers, finding one of the few belongings Aelwen had brought with her to Vinir's palace when she came to marry him. It was the one thing she'd carried with her everywhere she went, even when she'd been fleeing home and her responsibilities as a princess.
Beneath one of her nightgowns, she retrieved a bundle of leaves, still green as the day they were plucked from her home tree in King Sinnegard's palace. They were her connection to home, to her family, even when she wanted to be nowhere near them.
Carefully, she took the leaves out and laid them on the floor. They were roughly shaped into an oval, much like a mirror, the edges of the leaves all layered over one another, so there was none of the marble floor showing through underneath.
Taking a deep breath, Aelwen closed her eyes and planted her hands on either side of the arrangement of leaves. "Father of mine, I reach out to you ... will you answer me?"
The leaves shifted, crinkling and moving in place, rearranging themselves as the magic woven into their fibers took hold. When Aelwen was sure the magic was working, she opened her eyes to find the face of her father staring back at her, his worn features reimagined by the contours of the leaves.
"I answer you, daughter," King Sinnegard's voice droned, warped from the magic and arriving at her despite the distance between them. "Why do you call?"
"I have joyous news to share," Aelwen said with a smile, her voice steady as she presented herself before her king. "I am pregnant with King Vinir's child."
Her father's face changed—his features became less stern, and he smiled back at her, although it was a small one. "That is wonderful news, indeed. I am pleased that you are following through with your duty to King Vinir, and me."
He paused for a moment before continuing. "How has your relationship outside of bed been progressing? King Vinir must not doubt your value to him outside of being able to produce heirs from him."
Aelwen's smile faltered. "He is a wicked man, Father. I fear I … I fear I will never be able to get close to him. I have tried many ways to communicate my worth to him, but he is always distant and cruel, and now I fear for my life and that of my unborn child. I believe him to be mistrustful and hateful of me because I am fae, and your daughter. You must come for me at once, bring me home where I will be safe."
“I must not do anything,” he scolded. “I am the king and I am not commanded by any daughter of mine. You have a duty and you will perform it to my specifications, even if that means you must risk potential harm. It is your responsibility to take care of yourself and keep your husband’s temper in check.”
“But, Father—”
"No buts. Your husband must never feel like he could do without you." He sighed. "You are slacking, daughter. I had higher expectations of you. It is one thing to get knocked up with an heir—the one thing every king covets above all else—and it isanother entirely to have him wrapped around your finger, eating out of your hand and obeying your every wish and desire. This is the state we need him in for the security of our people. It is not only you he is resistant to. His mistrust of you also drives his deliberate attempts to thwart my plans in his territories. You must make him trust you."
Aelwen's heart sank slightly at those words, but she nodded in agreement.
It was not her fault that she failed to gain Vinir's heart, even if she thought, at first, that she was failing. But now she wondered if she could not capture him because he had no heart.
Maybe he had let those fae go, but could she ever trust him?
Now that she was going to have his child, and her father was unwilling to whisk her away from this place, she had to decide what to do.
She thought that, at least, her father would share more in her joy of preparing to welcome her first child. Her mother would have understood better were she still alive, but she'd passed many years ago when Aelwen and Iffandril were still little girls.
Once again, it seemed as though Aelwen had gotten caught up in her happy fantasy that she had forgotten about reality. Her father expected, no demanded, far more from her than the continuation of their family line.
"I understand, Father," Aelwen said. "I promise I'll do better."
"See that you do. A lot is riding on your success. Do not let me down."
The leaves rustled again, and one by one began to fall away from the image of his face and back into a pile on the floor. Within seconds, he was gone, and the magic faded.
Aelwen stared at the scattered leaves, a sense of numbness creeping into her heart. Why could her father never be proud of her, never be happy for her?
She didn't always have the successes that he wanted ... but she was making her way through life on her own path, and she had her fair share of triumphs too.
But her father's tame response to her pregnancy left a well of uncertainty in her stomach. Now she would have to face Vinir about their future child. Instead of approaching that conversation with the brightness and joy she'd experienced upon hearing the news, she was already twisting herself into knots, terrified about how the conversation would go.
For the last two weeks, his proclamation about the fae gaining more protections in Zacorith. Although she had initially thought him a liar and a fraud, now she wondered if her initial impression of him hadn’t been entirely wrong after all, and she’d been too quick to jump and persecute him. She’d thought several times that she should approach him again, but then another nightmare would strike her about what he was capable of, and she'd feel Vinir's hands on her throat and wonder if she would be next.
But now, she wondered if she was simply using that as an excuse to avoid him. Vinir was as cruel as the stories about him claimed, but there was also a softer side to him. She'd seen it when they made love, and now, understanding that his curse had something to do with his touch, it made more sense why he'd refused to kiss her during their wedding ceremony and initially avoided consummating their marriage.
He'd been willing to make Aelwen believe he was a monster, all to avoid hurting her. He'd thought that, like everyone else, if he touched her, then she would burn.
But she hadn't. None of the times he'd touched her had ever hurt at all. Even when he took her virginity, and there'd been a moment of pain, but that wasn't his doing at all. It was just the natural process of becoming a woman, and he comforted her so sweetly the entire time.
