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“It’s been a stressful couple of days.” He hadn’t wanted to leave Texas and now he couldn’t envision what life would be like after they returned. “I sent my grandmother photos of Gem with the Donavans.”
“That was thoughtful of you.”
“She texted back that she’s happy and relieved.” And he had to confess knowing he’d eased that worry for her made him as happy as if he’d landed a big new contract. “So yes, our task is twenty-five percent complete.”
“I know those photos must have brought Mariah a lot of joy.” Angling toward him, Johanna stroked along his eyebrows before cupping his face. Her fingertips were callused from work, but gentle, soothing, the hands of a healer. “We may not be meant to be married, but there was—is—so much about you that’s special. Otherwise I never could have fallen for you.”
“Yet, here we are.”
Silence settled between them, highlighting nature’s sounds of branches rustling in the wind and birds chirping.
Johanna’s eyes went sad, unshed tears glistening. “I wish things could be different for us, I truly do.”
He agreed 100 percent. But where did that leave them? “We haven’t talked about what happened between us earlier on the airplane.”
“What almost happened,” she amended.
“Right.” That sure put him in his place. Still, he couldn’t stop the urge to indulge in a week of no-strings sex, to make the most of one last chance to be with Johanna. “Do you still feel like I was trying to manipulate you?”
She eased back, her hand falling from his face, and she ducked her head to avoid his touch. “Nothing’s changed. We both know an affair can’t lead anywhere.”
“Not even a temporary fling,” he said in a joke, though he was more than half-serious.
She didn’t laugh. But she didn’t say no, either. She simply sat in silence as the wind sent a couple of stray maple leaves skittering across the picnic table.
Hope surged through him along with a pulse of heat in his veins. He knew they couldn’t have a long-term relationship, but he could feel her giving in to this week together. He pressed ahead. He just had to figure out what was holding her back. “Is there someone else?”
She choked on a laugh. “Are you serious? I live on your land, and I work at your family’s ranch. There aren’t any secrets.”
No secrets? She was wrong there. He’d been clueless about Alex’s feelings for her. “My cousin has a thing for you, and I didn’t know about that.”
She crossed her arms over her chest, plumping the gentle curves of her breasts along the neckline of her yellow sundress. “I told you there’s nothing between Alex and me.”
“But he wants there to be more.” Stone’s jaw clenched at the thought of her with someone else. The possibility that someone could be his cousin, and that Stone would have to watch them together every day for the rest of his life, was still more than he could wrap his brain around without blowing a gasket. “That’s clear to me now. Although why I didn’t see it earlier is a mystery.”
“I can’t control what your cousin feels, but I can assure you those feelings are not returned.” She touched his wrist lightly, tentatively. “This isn’t Alex’s fault. People don’t always make wise choices about who to...be drawn to.”
“Are you talking about us now?”
Chuckling wryly, she squeezed his hand. “You truly are clueless if you even have to ask. No wonder you didn’t notice how Alex feels.”
Even though she insisted she didn’t want Alex, Stone still had to know more. “How far did things go with Alex before you realized you weren’t interested in him that way?”
For a moment, he thought she would refuse to answer his question, but then her shoulders lowered, defensiveness melting from her. Her answer was important to him, too important. His heart pounded in his ears.
“Alex asked me out once. I said no, because I’m not into rebound relationships. I also didn’t want to cause trouble between the two of you.”
“You care about both of us,” he realized. How much did she care about Alex? Was she holding back?
“Of course I care about you both.” Her hand stayed on his. Did she know her thumb stroked along his wrist? “I practically grew up on the ranch with both of you. In fact, I played more with Alex and Amie since they’re younger than you. Of course I spent a lot more time studying you because of my monster crush. Sometimes it amazes me how I can know so much about you in some ways and so little in others.”
He flipped his hand over to grip hers. “We saw what we wanted to see.”
“I know you and Alex are as close as brothers. The last thing I want to do is cause trouble between you.”
“We don’t always see eye to eye on everything, but we’re close. We’ll get through this, too.” The thought of losing any more of his family was beyond considering. “We grew up like brothers.”
Except they weren’t, in spite of all the times he’d wished they could be.
“You guys definitely had troublemaker moments.” She grinned, lightening the mood and taking them back to safer ground. “Remember when the two of you put Kool-Aid in Amie’s showerhead right before the Miss Stampede Queen pageant? I didn’t think she would ever forgive either of you for turning her hair pink.”
“That was Alex’s idea.”
“Um, I don’t think so. And if it was, that’s probably because you whispered the idea in his ear when he was sleeping.”
Or because he’d left a gag book open to a particular page right on Alex’s desk. Stone grinned. “I may have instigated some—okay, most of the pranks.” He recognized her attempt to get off the subject and he didn’t intend to lose sight of what he needed to know.
“Both of you were fantasy material for all my school friends—rich, sexy cowboys. What’s not to drool over?” Mischief sparkled in her eyes. “But as you know, my crush was firmly placed on you.”
“What about now?”
The pool filter kicked on, the fountain spewing higher. He looked over his shoulder and found staff clearing away the dishes discreetly. Once they left, Johanna leaned toward him again.
“You and I are not engaged anymore, and our core reason for the breakup hasn’t changed. You know that,” she said gently but firmly.
“Yet, we were kissing a few hours ago.” Kissing and more.
She pulled her hand back. “This kind of conversation is exactly what I wanted to avoid.”
“If I weren’t in the picture, would you and Alex be together?” He hated the way this discussion made him feel, the jealousy, the doubts. But damn it, he couldn’t let it go.
Her lips went tight with frustration for an instant. “I’ve already told you I’m not seeing Alex.”
“I heard you.” He remembered everything she’d ever said to him. “I’m asking if you have romantic feelings for him. That’s different.”
She shoved to her feet, walking absently toward the trunk of the maple tree before glancing back over her shoulder. “You’re not going to let this go, are you?”
“You broke up with me, not the other way around.” And the days following that breakup had been some of the darkest in his life.
“Your cousin and I are very much alike.” She sagged against the trunk. “Too much so to be a couple.”
His shoulders dropped with relief. “I’m glad to hear that....” He stood and walked to her, grabbing a branch just over her head. “Even though I know I have no rights, the thought of you being with him drives me crazy.”
“Is that why you made a move on me at my place, in your office—on the plane?”
“I kissed you because I wanted to.” Like now.
“And that’s the first time you’ve wanted to in seven months?”
“Hell, no.” He thought about having her every day—and every night.
“Then something changed to make you act on the impulse. Is that ‘something’ jealousy?” Her eyes searched him with genuine confusion. “If you can’t have me, no one can?”
Put that way, he sounded like a jerk. “I don’t know how to explain it other than to say that since my grandmother dropped her bombshell news on us, it feels like the world is off-kilter.”
“So if your grandmother was healthy, you would still be keeping your distance, like before.”
Was she hinting that she’d wanted him to fight harder to get her back? One wrong move and he could wreck the moment. The only thing he knew to do was be honest.
“Hell, I don’t even really know what I mean except that we are here, together. And the thought of never being with you again is tearing me apart.”
She swallowed hard, chewing her bottom lip as she stared up at him.
