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My teeth ground to dust; primordial hunger threatened to snap my spine.
Her fingers pushed downward.
I groaned. Loudly.
My head fell back, cracking against the cave wall.
Shadows spilled out of me.
Darkness clouded around us.
Thicker and blacker, cocooning us from the outside world.
And in that swirling, sickening vortex, my hand snatched Runa’s wrist again.
I meant to remove her touch.
I truly honestly did.
But...my fingers slipped over her hand instead, pressing her touch harder against my pounding flesh.
And my vision went black.
I grunted as my hips arched up, driving my hardness into her hold, all while death exploded through my blood. It had to be death. It felt as if every cell and filament of my form shredded into spirit-slicing sparks.
Runa gasped as I shuddered, fisting my fingers tighter, tighter over hers.
The exploding deathness in my blood centred in my hard flesh, pulsing upward with rhythmic pleasure-pain.
Death crested with a release of absolute bliss.
Absolute carnage.
Absolute destruction of my sanity.
My heart thundered as I shuddered a final time.
For the longest moment, I just hovered in that pillowy, shadowy euphoria.
Faint aftershocks of pleasure rippled through me as I struggled to open my eyes.
I blinked past stars.
I summoned back the shadows that’d flooded the cave, and there was Runa.
Kneeling beside my kicked apart legs. Her hand beneath mine, fisting my body where I forced her to squeeze.
I gulped.
A low groan spilled from me as I noticed something glistening on our entwined fingers. A glittering rope of white thread.
I’d felt shame before, but now?
Now I quaked with body-breaking mortification. “Runa...I—” Tearing my hand from hers, I grimaced as the ropey whiteness stretched between us. It broke and dangled on both our hands, slimy and sticky.
What had I done?
With shocked and parted lips, Runa studied her hand where my body had marked her. For an embarrassing heartbeat, she frowned and sniffed the air where an odd scent had settled. She studied the whiteness as it quickly turned translucent, smearing my remorse all over her fingers.
If we’d mated in a forgotten life, there was no memory of this chagrin. No recollection of marking her with fluids or why the image of Runa coated in my essence made me snarl to do it all over again.
Without thinking, I shifted to my knees, grateful that my flesh no longer stood to such horrifying attention. Snatching a handful of shed fur from Kiu’s nest, I grabbed Runa’s wrist and wiped roughly at her fingers.
My touch snapped her back into the present. She watched as I cleaned her from my sin.
I couldn’t get her clean enough.
I couldn’t wash away what I’d done.
“It’s...it’s okay.” She gave me a forgiving smile. “It’s...enlightening. I suppose we once knew what our bodies are capable of and what events take place when mating, yet it seems as if it’s another thing we’ve forgotten.” She shrugged. “Or, perhaps, we didn’t know because we’ve never shared them.”
I took a deep breath, doing my best to keep my voice mortal and not as feral as I felt. “If we didn’t do that before we forgot and lost each other, then I was missing out.”
Her lips twitched as her eyes met mine, calm to my chaos. “You’re well again? You don’t look like you’re in pain anymore.”
A harsh laugh spilled from my mouth. “That’s what you’re worried about? That I’m not in pain anymore?”
“What else would I be worried about?”
I scoffed. “The fact that I marked you. That my release was—”
“Perfectly natural.” She lowered her hands, clasping them in her lap. “I’m sure that the same thing happened with your alpha and his mate.” Her cheeks pinked, matching the dawn light. “The Nhil are a loving clan. I’ve often seen couples sneaking off in the dark after food and drums around the fire. Tiptu and Tral—the chief and chiefess—have a son. Two sons actually and a daughter.” Pulling her knees into her chest, she wrapped her arms around them. “I never stopped to consider how their bodies made such a youngling but now...now I think I know.” She caught my gaze shyly. “Your release starts life.”
Her words sank into me with truth, but a piece of me argued the idea. I wasn’t the life giver. She was. Yet if mating led to birth, and all creatures had that same magic, then what she said was true. Even though a shadowy, forgotten part of me whispered there was more to it than that.
More to her.
“I don’t know what to say,” I murmured, catching her gaze. “I’m sorry if my...need scared you.” My forehead furrowed as images of her fighting and kicking as Aktor spread her legs made my teeth gnash together.
“You didn’t—” Runa jumped as Salak suddenly appeared, his massive wolfen body towering over us as we sat whispering against the cave wall.
I sat straighter, eyeing the giant alpha.
His nose wrinkled as if he could scent what just occurred. His yellow eyes narrowed on me, then Runa before he growled low in his chest. I didn’t understand his sudden anger, but Runa seemed to.
