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“You are the only one.” His smile turned heavy with unsaid things. “No matter how many women I might find in the future. You are the only one I want.”
My heart winged even as I deliberately poured cold water on the heat between us. All of this was too much...too soon. “I have to return to the Nhil today. Solin will be wondering where I am.” I hugged Natim closer, hiding my nervousness, my hope. “You could come with me.”
He stilled. “Or you could stay here.”
“You know I can’t.”
“And you know how I feel about those two hunters who hurt you.”
“Don’t let them taint your view on all mortals.” I stepped into him, keeping Natim between us to temper the burn in my sunburst mark and the racing of my heart. “There are other women. Many other fascinating women. There’s Hyath with her skill for designing clothing and working fur. There’s Pallen’s apprentices who will one day be medicine women. There’s Moke who’s a hunter and—”
“I’m sure they’re wonderful in their own right,” the stranger murmured, his voice hot and dark. “But they aren’t you.”
I hid my tremble. “But you might find them equally fascinating.” A sickening urge to push the stranger away and fill his head with other women drowned me. If what the flames said was true, he couldn’t have me. And I was beginning to understand that mortals and beasts mated because of urges and needs, and, eventually, he would expect those needs to be sated with me.
He might be willing to wait, for now. He might wrap his body in furs to hide the extent of his desire, but he couldn’t take back what he’d told me with such conviction.
He hurt when he desired me.
And I didn’t want him to hurt.
But if he couldn’t have me, then he’d need someone else. Just like Niya said. Just like she wanted Leca to be happy, all while hoping that happiness could be found with her but prepared to accept it if he found joy with another.
Despite our similar marks, our mimicking history, and our inherent talent at finding each in a grass sea during a thunderstorm, all these confusing emotional and physical cravings might be nothing more than tricks of desperate minds and lonely hearts.
My shoulders braced with determination; I forced another smile. “Who knows? Once you get to know other women, you might realise that I’m nothing more than someone you used to know.”
His eyebrows slashed into an angry line. “I don’t understand why you’re saying these things after what we just discussed. Why are you suddenly trying to push me away?”
I arched my chin. “I’m only pointing out the truth. The truth that despite whatever we feel, and I’m not saying we don’t feel something, but those feelings might be wrong. Even while we think they’re right.”
He crossed his arms. “So everything I just confessed, and everything you confessed in return, means nothing?”
“No, it means I think we should be cautious. There are things we don’t understand. Things we don’t know—”
“We don’t know anything.” His stomach flexed as he sucked in an angry breath. “We’ve discussed this. We know nothing. We remember nothing. We’re drawn to one another for a reason. You can’t just pretend that’s not worth fighting for.”
“I’m not pretending that.” I lowered my voice. “But I’m also being realistic.” I put Natim down, bracing myself to say things I didn’t truly mean, even if it was the right thing to do—according to the flames. “I haven’t made any false promises to you. I didn’t say I’d stay here. I agreed to one night. That night has passed. What happened this morning between us opened my eyes to the many facets of relationships and connections but...i-it doesn’t change anything.”
He dropped his arms, annoyance shading his face. A small tendril of shadows appeared by his knees, coiling down to his feet. “The fact that I just laid myself bare doesn’t change anything.” He said it as a statement, not a question. A fact that made him furious.
I fisted my hands while Natim nuzzled at my legs, seeking something to drink. “I need to see Solin. I’ve said you can come with me. This doesn’t have to be goodbye.”
“No, it’s not a goodbye. Just a refusal to accept everything that’s happened between us.”
Hugging myself, I did my best to keep my voice steady. “It’s not by choice.”
“Yes, it is.” He planted his hands on his hips. “You could stay. You could ignore whatever warnings you think you hear—”
“I don’t think.” Temper sparked in my veins. “I’ve heard them. Both the fire and your alpha—”
“And who are they to tell us what we can and cannot do?” He marched into me, clamping his hands on my waist, his touch burning me even through my deerskin dress. “We’ve found each other against all odds. Our marks burn the same way and our memories itch to be known the more we’re around each other. Whatever loyalty you have to the Nhil and their fire is nothing compared to that.”
