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Our blatant hand holding shouted to anyone who bothered to understand that we belonged to each other. Aktor might hold a curse over my heart, but Darro had earned that heart in a different lifetime—a lifetime that superseded this one.
Turning my back on the Nhil, I didn’t look back as Darro pulled me into the tall summer-ripe grass, and the stalks swayed closed behind us.
Chapter Forty
. Darro .
I TOOK HER TO THE river where she’d rinsed out my arm from Syn’s infected bite. Where I’d grown hard for the first time around her and fallen into feelings that’d only magnified and consumed me ever since.
It wasn’t far enough, and the top of the embankment held history where Aktor had hurt her. Rust-crimson stains still marked the dusty ground from where my blood had spilled as I’d tried to save her. A giant pool had congealed and soaked into the soil, painting the crushed grass stalks with dull red, hinting that whoever had lost so much lifeforce ought to have died that night.
The river babbled and danced in the sunlight as we skidded down the small hill and crunched over dried willow leaves on the ground. Her footsteps seemed strong. Her breathing even and normal.
Whatever curse bound her to Aktor was accepting of this distance from the camp. She didn’t suffer. At least...not yet. I kept careful watch for signs of discomfort, noticing the healthy colour of her skin and brightness of her eyes. If her heart started failing, I wouldn’t have to run far with her to ensure the dreadful bind left her alone.
Rage filtered through me; an anger I could barely control.
I let Runa go, afraid of myself, afraid of what I was capable of after last night.
She gave me a fleeting smile before drifting ahead and dipping her toes into the water’s flowing edge. We were alone. No other clan members had come to the river. And no blue glow appeared.
No liquid song filled my head either, but that didn’t mean the water element, Vetak, wasn’t watching.
After the air’s insidious whispers and its obedience in helping me travel in my shadows, I’d become highly aware of the energies that always surrounded us. Quelis had turned its back on me, but Rivoza had become a strange kind of...friend.
If an element that didn’t care if you lived or died could become a friend, of course.
Zetas padded toward a grassy spot beneath a weeping willow. Keeping her yellow eyes locked on me as if worried I would vanish and leave her like I had last night, she lay down and rested her muzzle on her legs. She yawned but didn’t relax, ready to leap after me if I made any signs of disappearing.
I smiled at the she-wolf.
I was grateful she hadn’t been there with me in that forest-ringed lake last night. If she had, would my power have stopped her heart like it stopped so many other creatures? Would her spirit have passed through mine to sink into the afterlife?
I shuddered as I balled my hands.
What I’d done last night?
The death I’d so easily delivered...
It petrified me.
Horrified me.
I feared myself.
I guarded my mind against hidden memories and more unfurling power. I didn’t want the power to snuff out a life without a single thought. I didn’t want the tragedy of making a mistake and killing those I loved.
Zetas yawned again, her eyes burrowing into mine.
Ever since I’d found myself in the grasslands this morning with the scent of smoke from the Nhil’s ever-burning fire and the tips of lupics spearing into the gold-gilded horizon, I’d tried to remember how I got here.
The last thing I recalled was sinking into darkness and treading silently and weightlessly over a delicate, vast tapestry. A web that promised all the secrets of the universe, glittering with droplets of every life currently in existence.
“Darro?” Runa’s soft voice interrupted my headache and raging thoughts.
I blinked and brought her into focus.
“Where...where did you go? Last night? Solin told me you disappeared in your shadows.”
Swallowing hard and preparing myself for honesty, I stepped toward her. Just like when we first met and my heart forced me to tell her nothing but the truth, I would do the same now...even though I had so many things I wanted to hide.
“I went...home.”
“Home?” Her eyebrows rose.
I shrugged. “To a place I’ve seen in my memories. A place of silver webs and all-seeing stars.”
“Was it far away?” She backed deeper into the river, shivering as water swirled around her knees.
Leaving the shore for the shallows, I sucked in a breath as the coolness of the water ran over my bare toes. Liquid licked at my ankles as I took another step toward her, teasing me to swim. I wanted to be cleansed. Rinsed clean. To wash away my monstrosities.
“It was far away.” I did my best to keep my voice calm and not turn gravelly with despair.
