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I was grateful for the connection, even if I couldn’t pinpoint when the connection had formed.
Was it when we’d sunk into the fire together to learn my name?
Or perhaps when she’d walked in my thoughts as the blood bind with Aktor was forced?
Whatever the reason, I nursed it carefully.
The more days that bled together and the more lessons she had with the medicine woman and Solin, the more she was accepted within the Nhil’s way of life as one of them.
She was no longer an outsider, while I wore the label loudly.
Even the misplaced trees that’d suddenly sprouted throughout the grasslands hadn’t shaken their faith in her. Whatever the medicine woman had said happened by the river that day had hushed all rumours and only seemed to deepen the Nhil’s affection for her.
A lot of the older members watched Runa with deep reverence, believing in the Fire Reader and his prophecies that Runa was sent to him to lead their clan into richer prosperity. The younger members, not so enamoured with the flame’s religion, spoke about her as she passed by and whispered about what she was when she sat out of hearing distance.
I was glad she had Niya, Hyath, Syn, and Natim because, regardless of her wholehearted welcome into this hard-working clan, she seemed...unhappy.
Zetas nudged my knee, ripping me out of my thoughts and dropping me back into the cool night.
Wet dew glittered on the wilting grass around us, doing its best to dampen the small clearing I’d made not far from the Nhil.
I missed Salak’s cave.
I missed the comfort of sleeping in a nest of warm wolves. Leca had offered me a roof but sleeping beneath the stars was a far sight better than sharing a lupic with a male I didn’t trust.
Zetas growled, showing me her latest catch.
A black-footed ferret squirmed violently in her jaws, twisting its long body, squeaking with terror and rage.
My shoulders tensed as I sat upright. We hunted together often. We fed ourselves instead of eating the Nhil’s fire-touched food.
The first night we’d stalked a badger together, the black part of me that’d siphoned out and killed so many creatures in one swoop scratched hotly against my skin.
It purred to be used.
To strike in deadly silence and suffocate a heart before it could take another beat.
I’d frozen mid-stalk.
I’d shied away from the calling.
I’d gritted my teeth and balled my hands, and when I’d opened my eyes again, Zetas had the badger in her teeth.
She bit down.
And I collapsed to my knees as the badger’s spirit shot through me.
I didn’t feel its essence like Runa did. She seemed to see its life, regrets, and dreams. I merely saw it as silver light—as energy reverting back to its most basic beginning, slipping through me into the afterlife that somehow operated within my power.
I’d braced myself as Zetas tore into its flesh. Waited for another gush of sensitivity like what Runa felt when she touched the furs, fangs, and skins of those that’d perished.
But nothing.
It was just meat.
No longer alive now its spirit had gone.
Ever since then, I’d let Zetas do the hunting.
I didn’t trust that I could control the black death percolating inside me to be used.
Zetas growled again, her yellow eyes locking onto mine as if waiting for me to brace. Glancing at the snarling ferret, I sat taller, fisted my hands, and nodded.
The wolf snapped her strong jaws.
The ferret went instantly still.
I almost retched as the slippery sensation of its spirit slithered out of its dead body and passed through me to become something more.
Ice coated my insides.
I wanted to follow it—to ensure it was safe amongst so many others who had died—but a shadowy wall kept me from seeing, kept me from knowing why I had this horrifying gift.
Tearing off the ferret’s head, Zetas took what she wanted of the slinky corpse before leaving me the hind end. The wolf padded away before settling down and wedging the bleeding meal between her front legs. The crunch of her teeth on bone sent another shiver through me.
But it didn’t stop my stomach from rumbling or my hands from reaching out for the still-warm morsel.
Bringing the raw flesh to my lips, I tore a wet mouthful with my teeth.
Blood dripped down my chin.
I closed my eyes as fresh metallic gushed down my throat.
I lost myself to the meal—returning to simpler times when I was nothing more than a man rescued by wolves.
A man who was nothing more than a beast.
Chapter Forty-Three
. Runa .
“RUNA, WAIT UP.”
I stopped and turned, a smile spreading my lips as Olish jogged to reach me. My smile felt a little fake, plastered over the constant ache in my heart.
A full moon had passed.
A full moon where Darro had only whispered a few words to me. I knew he slept out in the grasslands with Zetas. I knew he hunted for his own meals. And I knew he watched me, even though I couldn’t see him most of the time.
