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Zetas lay in a cradle of roots, her chin on an earthy hump, her yellow eyes closed as if used to Darro standing in the night, speaking—
I froze.
He’s talking to someone?
Snatching Syn by the scruff, I ducked behind the closest tree, not wanting to intrude when his emotions waked so strongly toward me.
We weren’t heartlinked, but I felt him.
I felt him so much, tears sprang to my eyes, paralysing me as he murmured to someone I couldn’t see.
“She’ll hate me for this.” His head hung. “And why shouldn’t she?” He raked a hand through his messy black hair. A leaf fluttered down his dirt-smudged back. “I showed her exactly what I am. I killed so much innocence.”
He groaned and dropped his hands as if listening to a reply.
Syn lashed her two tails with impatience, and Zetas raised her horned head, scenting that we were here.
I stiffened.
He thought I hated him?
By the stars, nothing could be further from the truth.
But...could I truly blame him?
For months, I’d accepted his steadfast loyalty and unwavering commitment, content in the knowledge he was close by, always near...my ever-present protective shadow.
But I never returned the gift.
I’d turned my back on him.
I’d left him on the outskirts of the clan, my life, and...
I’ve made him doubt everything.
Zetas flicked a glance at Darro, then slowly lowered her head. With a huff, she closed her eyes again, deciding that two mortals could deal with their own problems without a wolf interfering.
“I should let her go. Solin will protect her. I’ll always despise Aktor for what he did, but...he surprised me today. He would’ve died for those he loved. Perhaps...he’s redeemable—”
A flicker of moonlight and a wake of dust fluttered around his head.
A moth.
A tiny white-winged bug that danced and parried with importance.
“But the thought of never seeing her again—” Darro groaned, burying his face into his hands as the moth looped around his right ear. “I can’t...I can’t be the reason she gets hurt.”
Syn snuggled close to me as I winced.
Darro raised his chin, glowering at the moth as if it’d said something harsh. “I don’t think I’ll survive it. Not knowing if she’s happy. If she’s safe—” His voice cracked.
Tears sprang to my eyes and rolled down my cheeks.
Oh, Darro...
I hadn’t meant to stand and listen to things I wasn’t privy too, but...this was too raw, too personal, too heart breaking.
How could I interrupt such an intimate moment?
I’d come to tell him I was done letting him push me away.
I was through letting elements and beasts keep us apart.
I’d made my choice.
The only choice.
And I cursed myself for not making it sooner.
“Fuck!” He punched the tree where Zetas slept beneath. A flurry of last clinging autumn leaves scattered from the branches, caping him with yet more death and decay.
A squirrel popped its head out of its nest above, glaring at Darro for ruining its slumber. Darro stared back. He shook his head as the moth continued to flap around his shoulders. “Why shouldn’t I? It’s what I am, is it not?” Raising his hand, he murmured something at the small russet rodent.
I sensed the curiosity of the creature. The wariness coupled with red-flashing intrigue. With a twitch of its bushy tail, it scurried down the tree trunk and perched on Darro’s inviting finger.
I blinked back fresh tears as I watched the touching moment.
“I’m sorry,” he choked, just as the squirrel froze on his finger, gasped, then fell sideways, limp and floppy. With a quick snatch, Darro caught it, cradling it in his hands as bone-quaking grief rumbled in his throat.
Horror filled me.
I ducked to my haunches and wrapped my arms tightly around Syn.
I sucked in a breath.
I waited.
I swallowed a cry as the squirrel’s spirit scurried through mine, full of possessiveness over her acorn stash, proud of her gathering for winter, snug in her nest ready for snow.
It hurt.
It hurt so, so much.
The waste of it.
The finality of it.
The goodbye.
Gritting my teeth, I looked up just as Darro jerked and pressed his forehead to the lax creature. He shuddered like I had, as if he felt her passing too. Raising his head, he sniffed back a single fallen tear as he spoke to the newly deceased. “I’ve taken this life, but you will have another. I vow it.”
The moth fluttered around his hands, landing on the dead squirrel.
Darro bared his teeth and tossed the red-furred carcass to Zetas.
The huge wolf snatched it from the sky and swallowed it whole.
“Are you happy now?” he snarled at the moth. “Happy that I finally understand why I can’t be with her?”
Whatever reply the moth gave was silent, and I wiped away my falling tears. Most were for the squirrel who’d died for no purpose, but my heart wept for Darro and the agony pulsing off him in black clotting waves.
His head whipped up as he swatted angrily at the moth. “I’ll leave the blood bind alone. I’ll stay until Aktor grows up and proves he’ll protect her, and then...” He didn’t finish. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sucked in a tattered breath.
