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“A gift?” My eyes swooped to hers. “What gift?”
She smiled softly. “The gift of sensing life.”
I froze.
“I’ve been watching you, Girl.” Pallen shifted her position, moving onto her creaky knees. “When you first touched the mushroom, you flinched. Why?”
“Did I?” I fought the urge to fidget, shooting a look at Niya, who sat attentively but quietly next to Hyath. “I don’t remember.”
I did.
I’d flinched because the mushroom had pulsed with something. Something so powerful, it linked me for a single heartbeat to a web of knowledge buried deep within the earth.
“You also refused meat at lunch and seem to be able to tell that lynx cub to stay away from our furs when she was overly eager to join us. She hasn’t moved from the spot you told her to lie in all day. Almost as if your will became hers.”
I swallowed my sudden panic. “Is it wrong to prefer certain foods or share a kinship with a wild beast?”
She trod too close to my secret.
“No. It isn’t wrong.” Pallen shook her head, sending silver-and-black hair dancing. “But a few incidents sometimes aren’t coincidences. They are clues.” She glanced at my hands again, her elderly face tight with her own curiosity. “You sense life, Girl. You might not be fully aware of it yet—sometimes gifts such as yours take years to fully manifest—but you show signs of being highly sensitive to not just your existence but also the existence of everything around you.”
I didn’t know what to say.
I didn’t know how to confess that she was right. That my sensitivity seemed like a curse that ought to be hidden, but if I could be trained by her and shown that it wasn’t a curse after all...I wanted that. Very much.
“Enough of this,” Pallen suddenly said, pushing off the ground and unfolding stiffly to her feet. “You are almost out of time. You are bathed, dressed, fed, and have eaten the zirki mushroom.” She smiled. “And before you ask, the zirki mushroom has its own gifts. It grows alone but remains connected to every other mushroom in the ground, sharing messages and knowledge through magic we cannot begin to understand. That gift has now been shared with you and, even now, is opening your mind to hear a different world, see a different realm, and bind you to the mortals you will leave behind as you step into the fire’s flames. You are now like that mushroom, alone but linked, so we might find you and bring you back if you get lost.”
Clapping her hands, she said in a deeper, sterner voice, “Now stand and remove your clothing.”
Hyath and Niya stood too, waiting for me to do the same. Without a word, Hyath stepped behind me, unknotting the two ties behind my back before tugging the binding on my hip.
My pulse skittered as horror-filled fragments of Aktor ripping off my furs and wedging his thighs against mine filled my head. I shivered as my legs stiffened, reliving the pain and helplessness as he spread them and—
“Girl?” Hyath stroked my shoulder. “You okay?”
I gulped and nodded, forcing myself to stay in today and not revisit last night. “Yes. Yes, I’m okay.”
Her touch came again just before the soft skin loosened. I didn’t want to be bare, but she unwrapped them from my river-scrubbed body and held them close.
“Has our Spirit Master told you how the trance will occur? What you must do and not do?” Pallen studied me, her shrewd gaze falling on my loose colourless hair, swaying a little in the breeze. The rain hadn’t found us yet, staying on the edge of the horizon, but its damp breeze had sneaked ever closer. My nipples pebbled beneath its caress.
Balling my hands, I answered, “Solin hasn’t told me much.” Fighting the urge to rub away another wash of prickles, I added, “I know he will be there. I’ve watched him fall into a daze before the fire many times while sharing his lupic. He sits upright but is deeper than a dream.”
“Does he seem at peace or at war when he walks in the spirit world of flame?”
I frowned, recalling the nights I’d sat and watched Solin. He never made a sound, but sometimes his body twitched as if he was in pain. As if something hurt him. I didn’t know how to answer without revealing my own fear of such a thing.
“The flames are not something to be trifled with,” Pallen said, walking around me, her feet disappearing into the thick furs. “Our Fire Reader knows this. As long as you follow his guidance, listen to all he tells you, and stay by his side, you will be safe.”
Snapping her fingers at Jilaa, she held out her hand. “The ash and oil, Jilaa. Is it ready?”
“Yes, Pallen.” The pale-skinned apprentice collected the bowl she’d been stirring by the fire, presenting it to Pallen with both hands. “Two parts ash, one part oil, blended with safe intentions and whispered over with chants of homecoming.”
