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The fawn trembled by my knees; another wash of despair cloaked it, stealing my thoughts from selfish desire to selfless concern.
Stroking its soft back, I whispered, “It’s just us. You’re safe now. I’m so sorry your mother can’t return. I’m so sorry you’re feeling so lost and alone, but if you allow me, I’ll be your mother now. I’ll protect you and care for you. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”
The fawn snuffled and curled tighter, another wave of misery tainting the air.
It broke my heart; more tears obscured my vision.
I wanted it to feel the love I already had for it.
I wanted to wrap it in a blanket of my affection and give it a new home.
I could never replace its true mother, but I would be its friend and family.
If it let me.
A warm breeze rustled in the trees, licking around me with a fluttery nudge pressing against my mind. A gentle push toward memories of just a few hours ago.
The wolves had shared where the fawn was. The deer had shared its final moments.
Both those animals had communed with me.
If they could do that...then, surely, I could do the same?
I could use the same method.
I could soothe this baby deer without mortal words.
I have to try.
Settling deeper into the ground, I took my hands off the trembling baby and closed my eyes. I sank into the anguish it felt and wrapped mental arms around its spirit. I gave myself over to ancient wisdom within me, wisdom that shed off the constant forgetfulness and guided me on doing something that seemed so familiar, so right.
My palms turned upward on my knees as I visualized my heart opening to the fawn. Light swirled inside me, rushing through my veins and pouring over my bones.
Golden light.
Light that heated and healed.
Light that burst out of my chest and into the fawn before me.
I jolted at the sensation of more. Of everything. I was no longer trapped by a body that pretended to be mortal yet coveted unmortal gifts. I was free in ways I’d never felt before.
I didn’t know how I unconsciously knew what to do. I didn’t question the constant push and guidance. I merely trusted that inner wisdom and gasped as my spirit twined with the fawns, opening a bond between us.
I jerked as I slipped into him.
I cried as he shared his happy past.
His first tripping steps.
First taste of mother’s milk.
First spring and leap of pure happiness.
And I slipped deeper into those memories, keeping my heart wide so he could enter it, just like I had entered his.
I didn’t use words—not in this light-filled sensory world. I merely sent him promises. Images of safety and comfort. Pictures of warm hugs and loving kisses. It was not the world he’d been born into but a different one I offered. One where I vowed to make him as happy as I could.
The softest nose bumped against my knee.
My eyes flew wide all while my heart remained open.
I gasped as my skin glowed as golden as the light I visualized pouring from my chest. The truth of it flickered over the fawn, dappling its white spots with honey welcome.
With a soft snuffle, he clambered onto four legs and stepped bravely onto my lap.
No hesitation.
No fear.
Our eyes locked as my glowing arms went around him, and I jerked on the forest floor as his essence braided with mine.
Waves of gratefulness poured from him.
Grief mixed with relief as he snuggled into my embrace.
And I answered him.
I gave him every piece of myself that I could. My purest love and honest vow to protect and cherish him. I didn’t will away his sadness. I would never take away his memories like mine had been stolen. I merely gave him space to be safe.
He collapsed into my embrace, giving me his absolute trust.
Tears fell faster at the honour.
At the blistering beauty that I could share such a gift.
And beneath the awe of first newness, I tasted familiarity. Of homecoming. Of me.
This wasn’t new.
I’d done this before.
I’d bonded my heart and shared my spirit with so many beasts before him.
Yet another thing I’d forgotten.
Another thing that’d been taken from me.
I cried harder for the purity that’d been hidden. For the absolute release at remembering something. Something that made me so fundamentally alive. I’d thought learning my name had patched up some of the many empty holes within me, but it was nothing, nothing, compared to this.
Greed filled me for more.
I wanted to know what else I’d forgotten.
To remember everything.
I tensed with anger, cursing the flames for their warning not to recall.
The golden glow on my skin faded, returning me back to my normal mortal tone.
I tensed with determination.
I wouldn’t destroy my Destini by remembering who I was.
The stranger was right.
My Karma would be destroyed by remaining blind because no matter what the fire had shown me, no matter the destruction and charred remains I was supposedly responsible for, I knew in my heart of hearts I could never do that.
