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Even if I ended up hating myself for doing things I promised I would never do.
The deer.
My attention fell on the tiny ball of spotted fur in her arms. She cared for it already. I sensed that as clearly as I sensed Salak’s fierce attention as he watched our every move from his rock. As long as the deer needed to stay here, she would too. She would put the fawn’s well-being above her own.
I could buy myself some time.
Looking at the pack sprawled in different areas of the meadow, I spied the female I wanted. Kiu, the gentle-spirited mother who had six wriggly newborns, gnawed on a bone from a kill a few nights ago. Unlike most of the pack, Kiu wouldn’t be playing tonight. She’d be curled up around her pups, nursing them with milk that made them strong and healthy.
With my thoughts on other things and plotting how to keep what I wanted, my body returned to a respectable appearance. Smiling at Runa, I waved my hand toward the cave behind me. “Come. I have an idea for your fawn.”
Her arms tensed around the little creature as it raised its head, its large ears flopping around, listening to the pack. Wariness made its nose flare with predator smells.
“What’s your idea?” she asked, willingly following me.
“You’ll see.” Striding toward the cave, I looked at Kiu and barked in direct imitation of the command Salak used when he wanted a pack member to follow. Kiu raised her mighty head, licking her lips with the bone wedged between her paws.
I held her inquisitive stare as I leapt up the small rise, climbed a boulder, and turned to face Runa below.
The she-wolf cocked her head.
I beckoned her with my hand, and with a heavy huff, she hauled her bulk off the ground and padded toward us.
Runa stiffened as Kiu brushed past her and the fawn, scaling the embankment in one elegant leap. She headbutted my chest, partly in question, partly in obedience.
“Thank you for listening.” I stroked her soft-coarse pelt. “Go inside. We’ll join you.”
Kiu huffed again but did as I asked, slipping into the gloomy cave with a swipe of her tail.
Runa’s dusk-coloured eyebrows rose as I looked down at her. “You can talk to them so clearly.”
Shaking my head, I opened my arms and bent down. “We just understand each other, that’s all. Give me the fawn. It will be easier to climb without it in your arms.”
“It’s male,” she said, smiling at the youngling. “He’s already so trusting.”
I dropped to my haunches, keeping my arms open. “Does he have a name?”
She frowned. “I didn’t even think of that. You’re right. He does need a name.”
“I’ve named a few of the wolves, but I haven’t named the entire pack. Sometimes a word comes to mind, and sometimes it doesn’t. He’ll let you know when the time is right.” I wriggled my fingers. “Now, pass him to me so you can climb.”
Hesitation made her draw away.
I hid my flinch that she hadn’t learned to fully trust me.
But then she gritted her teeth and lifted her arms, passing the leggy, skinny deer into my hold. Immediately, the fawn bleated and scrambled, trying to return to Runa’s embrace. Straightening, I backed away from the ledge and pressed a kiss to his tiny head. “It’s okay. She’s coming.”
He bleated again just as Runa climbed up the boulder and joined me. “Where are we going?”
“To see Kiu.” I smiled and passed her back the fawn. The moment he resumed his spot in Runa’s arms, he stopped bleating and sighed as if everything was acceptable again. “Follow me.”
Ducking under the vines and white flowers dangling over the cave entrance, I let my eyes adjust to the gloom after being outside in the late afternoon sunshine. A few other females looked up from their chosen places around the large cave. Three yawned and went back to sleep, resting so they could hunt tonight, while the other two stretched onto their sides, giving their furry offspring access to their soft underbellies to nurse.
Runa didn’t speak as I guided her past the wolves, around the fur and bracken filled shallow where Salak slept, and toward the back where Kiu had made her fur-lined nest.
Kiu had spread out like the other two nursing mothers, allowing her tiny pups to feed. The other pups were almost of an age to wean and join the ranks of juveniles, but Kiu’s were brand new. Which meant her milk would be at its richest.
Dropping to my knees, I stroked Kiu’s fur, sinking my fingers into her ruff and scratching where she liked it.
Her eyes rolled back as she grunted in bliss.
Runa stayed standing, hugging the fawn as if she believed I’d brought him here to be a snack. Eventually, she would trust me.
Eventually, she’ll love me.
