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I was pissed at myself for the slip, but I refused to lie to her.
I’m just relieved she mistakenly thought I meant I’m a nurse, I assume because I called it my “day job.” It wouldn’t occur to her that a full-time medical doctor would work as much as one does and then also have an evening job at a home improvement store.
But my anger at myself simmered in my blood while I worked out. I pushed myself harder than I usually go on my chest, trying to burn off the frustration, but it didn’t work. And ended up taking it out on the one who has me so caught up in her that I wasn’t as careful as I always, always am.
I had been typing out my long-ass message when hers about panicking in the shower came through, so I didn’t see it until I’d worked myself up even more with all things I wanted to do to her. I spelled it all out, everything I’d enjoy putting her through, if only I had a good enough excuse. I’d never wanted a sub to be disobedient before.
But then when I finally did read her message and her following responses, the anger and frustration at myself fizzled, my focus turning more toward the woman who needed her Dom’s attention on helping her, not on him getting twisted pleasure from giving her a taste of what I’m capable of.
So I shook off the lingering tension and switched my mindset from overpowering alpha to protective Primal Dom, distracting her from what was overwhelming and crippling her and activating her need to please. A task of getting coffee would give her something simple to focus on, something nearly impossible for her to mess up—especially when she impressively asked how I like my coffee instead of guessing or wasting a bunch of time worrying about it once she was trying to walk out the door to meet me. This way I can give her lots of earned praise, not reward her bad behavior of not following her everyday command to send me her schedule and goals.
Now, I look out my window to see the little sub balancing two stacked coffee cups in one hand, holding them steady with her chin, while she reads my message on her phone in the other. I hold my breath, knowing my girl is the embodiment of an early-2000s rom-com heroine, and pray she doesn’t trip.
Literally the only way she could fail this task—dropping the coffee.
By the time she makes it to the car parked two spots away from me, I can’t stand it any longer. But one would never be able to tell the anxiety I feel before I reach out and take the top coffee from beneath her chin, smoothly reaching out my other arm to open the back door for her.
She gives me a nervous smile, apparently unable to speak again now that we’re face-to-face, and I take the other coffee out of her hand without a word as she gets up into the Hummer, the back seats flat like they were a couple of nights ago but with the front seats still in their upright position. When she crawls to the back and gets into position, on her knees, ass on her heels, I lift a brow, my eyes purposefully pausing on her closed legs before meeting her shy gaze.
“Oh! Sorry,” she murmurs, her knees spreading a few inches apart, and then she reaches out both her arms toward me.
Something about it makes me go soft toward the woman. The innocent mistake she immediately fixed, remembering the command and knowing what she wasn’t doing correctly, the sweet, makeup-free face that looks up at me with awe but also unease, not knowing what to expect. And when she opened her arms like that, holding them out to me, my first instinct was to lean forward and let her wrap them around my neck, to bury my face in the side of hers and breathe her in, to murmur in her ear that I missed her presence and am happy I get to see her before I have to go to work.
But I’m able to catch myself before I even move an inch, because she makes a grabbing motion with her hands, and I realize she’s actually just offering to hold the two coffees while I climb inside the truck.
I don’t know what’s going on with my careful control of every aspect of my life. I don’t know how this woman catches me off guard, plays and beats me without even really meaning to, and entices me more with her genuine eagerness to learn and please than any perfectly trained sub before her.
But there have been too many coincidences along this path.
I don’t have the same mind as someone who fights and fights against something being real just because they can’t see it clearly right before their eyes.
