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Nope, so not me, but I definitely admit to using my vibrator a time or three while watching that show.
Evan Peters.
Nuff said.
I’m just about to Google what boi specifically spelled with an -i means when my computer makes a noise I’ve never heard before, making me jump. With wide eyes, I check my tabs across the top of the screen and see one of them is flashing with a notification. It’s the one still open with the first site I signed up for, and since it’s been about an hour now that I’ve been creating all these other profiles, I decide to check this message with a more open mind.
The photo is thankfully of a man’s smiling face. He’s not what I would call handsome, but he’s not ugly by any means. He has one of those completely average faces that wouldn’t stand out to you until you got to know him as a person, before it would fall into either the hot or not side of the equation. I click on the message, and right off, I can tell he actually took the time to read my information.
Good evening, if you find this soon after I send it. I just came across your profile, and I’d love to get to know more about you. I’ve never met an author before. What kind of books do you write? And I see you’re only looking for friendship. Do you mean to meet people and start out as friends that could eventually grow into more, or are you here ONLY to do research?
Hope to hear from you.
I sigh, a little irked that the first question was the dreaded “what kind of books do you write?” that almost all romance authors hate answering. The response we get after people find out goes one of two ways: either the person is super excited, because they’re a romance reader—highly unlikely when it’s a male—or there’s a sliding scale of negativity that ranges from a snide “what, like Fifty Shades?” to pure hostility, blaming our genre for women’s “unrealistic expectations” in men. I always love shutting down that last one by letting them know that all my books are based in reality as far as the heroes and sex goes, and that the only fictional parts of my stories are the suspenseful thriller-like plots.
The second question doesn’t bother me, since my profile doesn’t make the answer clear. I kept it vague on purpose. I go to his page to check him out, because how hypocritical would it be if I don’t take the time to read what he reveals about himself.
Single. 42. Spent his twenties and thirties building his business and focusing on his career and realized life is passing him by. Now looking for someone to spend time with to share everything he’s worked so tirelessly for.
I guess instead of the classic “I want someone to honestly fall in love with me for me, not because I’m rich” thing, he took the opposite fork in the road and said “fuck it, I ain’t got time for that.” At least he knows whoever he picks is also being honest about why they’re here, instead of always having to wonder.
I type a response that will leave the ball in his court. If he has a knee-jerk reaction to respond in any negative way toward my life’s work and actually sends it, then the guy isn’t very intelligent and has no game. An easy way to tell within the first correspondences if he’s worth my time.
Hi there ?? I write romantic suspense novels. For now, I’m just doing research, but if I happen to meet someone I really click with while I’m at it, then that would be a happy outcome for all my hard work lol!
His reply is quick, and I’m pleasantly surprised by the positivity in his message.
Romantic suspense sounds interesting. Is that like… a mystery novel but with a love story? What kind of research are you needing to do for your next book?
I make a freaked-out face, feeling put on the spot about the research. But as I get my thoughts in order and let the wine loosen up the tension I’ve felt since writer’s block set in nine months ago, the answers to his questions seem simple. Especially since I took the time to write all my ideas down on a digital sticky note.
Plant Daddy. My next book is called Plant Daddy, and it’s about a woman who joins a sugar daddy dating site to find someone to fund her expensive plant addiction. And yes, that’s exactly what my genre is. Good guess!
Ah, that sounds like a fun story. Is plant code for something? Like… 420-friendly?
I have no idea what the hell he’s talking about, so I open another tab to google what that last phrase means.
