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WillDive4Plants:
Well, hope you weren't just trying to be nice when you said that about a hot intelligent friend before, because you're talking to a chick who is terrified to even heart your profile. I'll probably hide if I ever see you at the gym again. I'm only brave on TikTok and in my books until I get to know someone.
RomanticSadistLL:
LOL not kidding. Intelligence seems so rare these days. It would be a shame to end it already just because you're not interested physically.
“He’s gotta be shitting me.” Does he really think I have no desire to—
WillDive4Plants:
There’s a very big difference between “not interested” and “I am a giant pussy” ??
Please take the reins. Please take the reins. Please take the reins.
I’ve come to the conclusion that it would be stupid of me to try to keep him at bay when that’s the last thing I actually want. I wasn’t playing hard to get before; I was trying to protect myself. But how will I know he won’t hurt me if I don’t open myself up enough to let him prove he won’t?
But as a submissive through and through, it goes against every fiber of my being to assert myself in a way that would come off… bold. So from this point forward, I decide to make it known in my replies that I’m open to more than just talking about book research. We can still go slow. Like he said, mind before body. But I feel like if I keep my walls super high and reinforced so he only gets to peek in through a window, I’ll lose my chance.
And I know if someone heard me say that out loud, I would be scolded, called a doormat and other lovely names that mean I’m weak. They’d tell me that if a man isn’t willing to work hard to get to know me and earn my trust and attention, then they don’t deserve me.
But in my mind, how the hell would he know I’m worth all the hard work if I don’t let him see that? If I don’t let him see what he’d be missing out on, then what would be his incentive to try winning it?
RomanticSadistLL:
If you're interested, then that means I still have a chance?? And who knows? I may end up being too boring for you.
That actually makes me laugh out loud. So loud it startles Kronk and he makes his little chirpy sound that means he’s annoyed.
“Sorry, kitty boy. This man really said he might be too boring for me. Of course, he has no idea boring would be welcome in comparison to what my last partner needed in bed,” I murmur, and when I look back at what my fingers typed and sent without my permission, I groan and follow it up with another message.
WillDive4Plants:
I've seen your muscles in action. There's no way in hell you could ever be boring.
FML I said that out loud.
Chapter Ten
FELIX
This little sub has cast a spell on me. If I hadn’t been sure before—listening to her from outside the dumpster—of just how vulnerable she is, how fragile her grip on normality is, then in the past week I’ve spent texting with her throughout the day would’ve confirmed it. It makes every single part of my very being want to protect her at all costs, to surround her and keep her safe.
But at the same time, I also want to be the one who breaks her. I want her to lose her death grip on what she thinks she should be, so I can awaken what I know she truly is inside.
The perfect little obedient slave.
And it has nothing to do with me wanting that to be true. With every message she sends, it just proves more and more that’s what she yearns to be. Her true self. But her entire life has been spent with people trying to change that about her. For some reason I can’t grasp, even with my above-average IQ, everyone seems to think it’s the people pleasers who are in the wrong and need to be “fixed.” They’re told they’re weak, that they need to toughen up and learn how to tell people no.
That doesn’t make sense to me one bit.
Why would we want someone who gains pleasure from helping others to… stop being so eager… to help others?
In my mind, that’s like telling an artist to stop painting because they’re good at it and it makes them happy.
Or telling a doctor to stop healing patients with the skills they spent years upon years learning.
Or telling a fireman not to put out the burning building.
It’s who she is. It’s her personality. Why does anyone think they have the right to tell her that her personality is wrong, that it’s bad, when it doesn’t hurt anyone? In fact, it does the complete opposite of that. It helps someone, or a lot of people, depending on how she’s using her pleasing skills.
