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“Would you like me to read them to you?” he asked.
“Yes. Yes. I’ll just serve us some dinner.” Annie rushed back and was pleased to see that she’d put a lot of tomato sauce with the pasta and it wasn’t so dry anymore.
She poured them both a glass of wine. She had a feeling she’d need it. Annie joined Caleb at the table. He picked up the letter and she placed her hand on top of his.
“Tell me about your day.”
“Annie, you can’t avoid this, baby. Now, I’m here.” He took her hand and she watched as he moved the letters to the other hand. “Are you ready?”
No, she wasn’t, but she nodded.
He cleared his throat and started to read:
“Dear Annie, I know this letter may be coming to you as quite a surprise, but I’m hoping not as big a surprise as my little girl. I hope you never have to read this and once Tara is at the right age, I can burn them. I want to raise her myself. You know I wanted to prove my mother wrong and show that I could be a better one.”
Caleb turned toward her.
“She hated her parents,” Annie said. “Clara’s mother told her she would never be good at anything. That she didn’t know how hard it was to deal with kids.”
“Anyway, if you are reading this letter, then it means I have gone and so has Lionel.”
Caleb frowned at her.
“My ex,” she said.
“And that means Tara and any other children I had, have come to you. I know that right now, and for the last few years, we have not spoken. We have not even been friends. I know there’s nothing I can say in real life, nor is there anything I can say in this letter that will make up for what happened.
I am so sorry for everything, Annie. I also know this is cruel of me to name you as the only person I would trust with my daughter and any of my children. Even after what I did, I know you are capable of so much love. When Lionel and I talked about this, we both said the same name. We were both thinking about you. You will make a good mother for Tara. That is the reason I wanted to write this letter to you. I’ve known you all your life, well, most of it, up until a few years ago. So, I wanted to make sure you got this after you had settled into your life with Tara. I figure you’d go to her grandparents, see if they would take her, but when that didn’t work, because she would give them nothing, you would take her. You would promise to love her and protect her.
First, I want to say thank you. Thank you for being the most amazing friend in the world. What I did was wrong, and I’m so sorry for everything that happened. Tara will have a terrific mother and friend in you, and that is what I come back to. You’re going to be worrying about how to approach this. Depending on her age, it will be up to you, but you will be her mother, regardless of her age, Annie. Tell her everything or nothing. Tell her about me and Lionel, or just that we’re her parents. I will leave that up to you. I do love you, Annie. I love and miss you and wish with all my heart that things could be different.
Love, Clara.”
Chapter Nine
Caleb put the letter down and turned to look at Annie. She had tears in her eyes.
“I miss her, too.” She covered her face with her hands.
Caleb got up and wrapped his arms around her. “I’ve got you, Annie. I’ve got you.”
“She knew I’d struggle. She knew I wouldn’t know how to handle Tara and the possibility of being her mother. She knew all of that and yet, she took the time to write that.”
“She cared,” Caleb said.
“Yeah, she did.” Annie sighed. “We should have called each other. Made time. I was an idiot.”
“No,” he said. “You don’t get to do that. You were hurt. There was no way you could have known what was going to happen. No way at all. Do not feel guilty for what you didn’t have control of.”
She smiled at him. “Will you read his letter?”
“Sure.” Caleb picked up the final letter and read:
“Annie, you and I both know Clara asked me to write this. Our time together didn’t end so well and for that, I am sorry. I don’t regret our time together, because it brought me to someone that I do love.”
Annie smiled. Caleb wasn’t sure what to make of that.
“When Clara and I were asked the question who we’d trust with our daughter in the event of our death, we both knew the answer. It was you. It will always be you, which is why we have made arrangements for Tara and any of our children to come to you. I know this is selfish of us, but we know you’re a good person. I’m sorry I fucked up yours and Clara’s friendship. I know she regrets hurting you and I want to tell you that I pursued her. She never wanted to hurt you, and even now, she doesn’t want me to write any of this. This is a letter begging you to take care of our daughter, but I know you love children. One look at any child, and your heart will be filled with love. Even if that child belongs to those that hurt you the most.
