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The horse snuffled and gave me a look of his own, allowing me to laugh. “He understands English.”
“Of course he does. They are some of the most intelligent creatures on earth. There’s no judgment, no hatred, just love if they’re treated well.”
He moved away and I almost faltered, but when he grabbed a brush, I couldn’t keep my eyes off him, watching how he lovingly untangled His Majesty’s mane, patting his side every few seconds.
“You’re very gentle with him.”
Constantine smiled. “He’s been with me for years. He’s my baby.”
There was such a softness to the man I hadn’t seen before, as if he was transformed into someone else when he was with the horses.
“I like watching you,” I said quietly.
“Because you’re trying to figure out who the hell I am.”
“Yes, true. This is the real you.”
He continued brushing His Majesty, taking his time to run the brush through every strand. There was such a quiet reverence in him that I was able to feel at peace, stroking the horse as if this was something we did all the time. When he was finished, he returned the brush then grabbed a bridle, placing it over the horse’s muzzle, gently securing it.
“Riding allows my mind to clear, Jade.”
“That I can understand.” A slight trickle of fear skittered down my spine. “What are you doing? Are you going riding?” I asked, taking a step away.
“Nope. I’m not.” In a move so quick I didn’t have time to react, he grabbed me around the waist, easily lifting me over the horse’s back.
“Oh, no. This isn’t going to happen. He doesn’t have a saddle. I can’t ride. I’ve never ridden. I…” Breathless, fear trampled all the other emotions, forcing my heart to beat rapidly against my chest.
“Relax, Jade. I’m not going to take you far. I want you to feel the power of this incredible beast as well as his gentleness. He understands you’re scared and won’t make any sudden moves.”
“How do you know that?” I grasped onto His Majesty’s mane until Constantine forced the reins into my hand.
“It’s about trust. Trust for the horse and his instincts and trust with me.” As I peered into his eyes, I could see this was a test, but more about showing me that he had no intentions of hurting me.
I took a deep breath, wrapping the thick leather strands around my hand. “I have nowhere to put my feet. I’ll slide off.”
He chuckled and tugged on part of the bridle. “As I said. Trust.”
As he pulled the horse down the length of the stable, I closed my eyes at first. Then when I felt the cool breeze, I couldn’t stand not seeing where he was taking me. With a single light on over the top of the building, there was only a soft glow on the fenced-in area surrounding the facility. He walked the horse toward the perimeter, never hurrying, never pushing either the horse or myself.
“I was four years old when my Pops placed me on a huge horse, just like this beauty and bareback as well. He told me that when I was able to conquer my fear of allowing the magnificent creature to take control, I’d realize just how much dominance I had over my fears as well as the horse. But he also said that I should never demand anything from a horse, allowing him to do what naturally comes to him because the horse would sense what I needed. Then, he told me, I’d finally understand what it felt like to be in control while also enjoying a sense of freedom. I never forgot his words because they weren’t just about riding a horse. They were about my life and what I’d be forced to face.”
“That’s amazing,” I said, realizing I was much more relaxed.
“It was one of the best times I ever spent with my father. He was a different man around animals, allowing me to be a kid while grooming me to be a man. It was very cathartic. Trust His Majesty. He will never let you down.”
As he led me around the ring, His Majesty whinnied a few times, reacting when I managed to free one hand, stroking his mane. Within minutes, I understood the very sense of freedom Constantine was talking about.
As well as the sense of trust.
This was cathartic, releasing the various demons that I had inside of me, but also enabling me to trust the man who’d stripped away my life more than I ever thought I could.
And in those few precious moments, my resolve of hating him began to crumble, no longer fearing the monster.
He finally led us back into the stable, easing me off and into his arms. As he held me, the connection we shared wasn’t just electric, a burning desire that couldn’t be denied. It was also spectacular in ways I’d never imagined. I wanted to be with him. I needed to feel his arms around me.
And I never wanted to let go.
Constantine cupped my chin, pulling me as close to his body as possible, his breathing ragged. “I don’t know what you did to me, Jade, but whatever it is, I can’t live without it.”
