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Then Dahlia had challenged my beliefs, swarming into my life like a little firecracker. It wasn’t until now, this very moment of holding Wren in my arms, staring up at the ceiling that I realized what I’d thought was love before had only been lust and infatuation. Dahlia had never loved me, and I’d just wanted a conquest.
This was entirely different.
That’s why it scared the hell out of me.
I’d acted like some fucking cowboy in my attempt to send her away, pretending it was all about her safety, the need to protect her. It was true, but only partially. I hadn’t wanted to allow myself to feel the love I’d sensed after spending twenty minutes with her. Nope. It didn’t make any sense, but I couldn’t deny the way I felt.
Now I had to figure out what the hell to do with it.
Especially since the weight of my past continued to drag me down, more so after returning to Missoula.
When Wren made a slight sound, I pulled the sheet up to her shoulders, kissing the top of her head. She’d fallen asleep in my arms, which had been a first. But it felt natural, as if she was supposed to be here. With me. In this house. What the hell was I doing? I couldn’t help but smile as I grabbed the glass of whiskey I’d brought to the room, stopping just inside the door when I’d returned with our drinks.
She’d been glowing, her skin shimmering. I’d been in awe for several seconds, confused as to what the hell was going on with me. Then she’d patted the bed and I’d become an animal all over again, ravaging her for another full hour.
As soon as I put down the glass, she shifted, lifting her head. She said nothing, but as she used a single finger, swirling it in a circle on my chest, I took a deep breath. Then something changed inside of me, a need to tell her the reason I was such a fucked-up asshole.
“There’s a gorgeous mountain range not too far from here. It’s called Sapphire Ridge.”
“I know it,” she whispered. “I hiked there a couple summers with some girlfriends. It’s beautiful, but you can tell there was a massive fire there years ago.”
I bristled and she lifted her head even more.
“What’s wrong, Phoenix? Did something happen there?”
As I took a deep breath, I brushed my hand through her hair. “Yes.”
“Do you want to talk about it?”
“No. But I need to.”
Wren eased to a sitting position, reaching over and taking the glass from the nightstand into her hand. After taking a sip and returning it to the same position, she rose to her knees, pressing her lips against mine, kneading them until I opened my mouth. As the liquor flowed from hers to mine, I realized she was reminding me that she wasn’t going anywhere.
She pulled away, tugging the sheets over her legs, taking my hand into hers. Then she looked away, also giving me space. For a girl so young, she understood me more than anyone else ever had.
I took a deep breath and found the courage to admit what would haunt me for the rest of my life. And for some crazy reason, I knew she wouldn’t run away.
“I killed a woman.”
CHAPTER14
Phoenix
“I want those kids brought up on charges!”
The cry hadn’t come from the girl’s parents, her father in prison and her mother a drug addict. The demand for justice had come from her last foster parent, a home she’d run away from only two days before the tragedy. The woman had thought there’d be a civil suit and she’d get the money, the story fading into the dust when she didn’t.
As I thought about the horrible time, I closed my eyes. With a nudge from my father, the cries that had embroiled the news for two days had ended. He’d managed to convince the powers that be that we’d been victims as well, lucky to be alive, the fire set by lightning.
But I’d always known better.
The great Missoula Bad Boys had ceased to exist after that day.
After taking a deep breath, I lowered my gaze toward Wren.
She lifted her head briefly and I stared into her eyes. There was no admonishment, no fear in them. Just love. I never knew that could be possible. I was a bad man. That’s what I’d always believed. I didn’t deserve happiness. I didn’t deserve to live after what I’d done.
“She was a friend of mine. Well, she was a friend of a group of guys. We all ran together in school. We were the delinquent kids your parents told you to stay away from. We got into trouble, but in looking back, what we thought was badass shit was just kid’s crap. Pranks and small thefts. We were bullies, which I’m not proud of, but this one girl refused to buy our bullshit. She insisted she be a part of our bad boy club.”
