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“Not recently. Why?” I was already moving to the living room, turning on the remote for the television, searching frantically for any news program.
“You said Phoenix went to a fire?”
“Yes, in the Sapphire mountain range. I think that’s what he said. Why? Tell me why?”
“Honey, there was a huge fire up there and—”
“I know that!” I snapped, interrupting her. “I’m sorry. I’ve had a trying day. Please just tell me.”
“There was an accident with one of the men. Now, they haven’t said who it is so I’m certain he’ll call you.”
“What accident? How? Do you know how?” As I finally found a news program, I waited, my heart thumping out of my chest.
“Um, a helicopter. It crashed, but they haven’t said if the person is injured.”
“Crashed? A helicopter?” No. No. No! As the lead in the story switched, the scene on the ground near the mountains came into view. There were firetrucks and ambulances.
Shock and anguish tore through me, my mind whirring as thoughts drifted in and out.
“Wren. Are you there? Come on. Talk to me. Please.”
“I need to call you back, Cammie. Okay? I promise I will.” I ended the call, no longer able to recognize my voice. As I stared at the screen, I could no longer breathe. He had to be alive. He just had to be. This was all a horrible dream. I knew it.
I dropped the phone twice before I was able to dial his number. Then I stood shaking, swaying as the reporter droned on about how they didn’t know the cause of the crash, but it was under investigation.
When it started ringing, I held my breath.
Then as it had done before, it went straight to voicemail.
“This is Phoenix. You know the damn drill so do it.”
Beep…
I collapsed, the phone dropping before I hit the floor. I clasped my hands over my mouth to keep from screaming.
And I knew in my heart that he was gone.
Gone…
CHAPTER16
“Some things cannot be fixed; they can only be carried. Grief like yours, love like yours can only be carried.”
—Megan Devine
Wren
I’d heard somewhere that you knew when the life of someone you cared about ended abruptly, almost as if you yourself were stabbed with a sharp knife. I’d felt that and so much more over the last few hours, afternoon turning into night. I’d never expected to find love in my hometown, least of all with a man I’d hired for a date.
It seemed surreal now, so much so that I was completely numb inside. I’d managed to keep it together, even pretending there was nothing wrong after Justin had awakened from his nap. He hadn’t mentioned his grandparents and I hadn’t either, although that was the only other thing that weighed heavily on my mind. Now he’d be forced to live with them. I couldn’t seem to convince myself that it would be better than foster care. Maybe Phoenix’s parents would take the child.
Was that any better?
I wasn’t thinking clearly, the fog settling in for the long haul. Although there was nothing definitive on the news, including whether anyone had died from the Zullies, I didn’t need confirmation. Phoenix hadn’t called and I couldn’t feel him any longer. All I was able to feel was a frigid cold that had turned my blood to ice.
I’d given Justin a bath and now he was in his PJs. And I knew at any moment he’d ask about his daddy. What the hell was I supposed to tell him?
“Are you going to wead to me?” he asked in his little voice. “Or tell me another hero story? I liked that. Daddy a hero.”
