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Then I carried Zehr down the many twisting stairs into the once-fine castle, now abandoned. Messages were scratched into the mirrors and the tapestries had been torn down; some of them were gone entirely, but others were shredded and stunk of piss. I moved through the castle with a sense of mounting horror. The royal bedrooms were all ransacked, and I crunched over broken glass from the many stained-glass windows, now all shattered. Angry prey had destroyed the castle.
Since the fine rooms were ruined, I carried Zehr to the servants’ quarters and laid him there in one of the simple beds.
Then I collapsed, falling beside him.
CHAPTER10
Honor
In my dreams, Zehr stood beside me, tall and imposing as ever. But when he smiled at me, the corners of his eyes crinkled. He looked more alive than his body in the bed now, and he removed the bone crown from his long, dark curls.
As I ran my fingertips over the crown, a sharp thorny piece of bone poked me. I snatched my hand away, red blossoming and smearing across my fingerprint. “Can you take the crown off in real life?”
“I could, to give it to someone.” He took my hand in his and raised it to his lips. “Though I hide it when I wish. Do you like me better without it, my queen?”
For a second, I thought he was going to heal me or kiss my hand.
But it was Zehr. His long pink tongue darted out and he licked the blood away. He gave me a grin that was as sharp and pointed as his incisors, and I tried to pull away, but he held on to me.
“You’re dying, Zehr.”
His lips curled into a faint smile. “You don’t like the idea of me dying.”
“I don’t want the Scourge out of control like they were with Kessily goading them.” The memory of Calla’s wild face rose in my mind. I’d travel back to heal her as soon as I could, but my body felt as weak as my magic. She’d be safe in the cage for now.
Zehr’s face shifted, as if he’d just seen what I had. I expected sympathy, but he said, “You’re lucky to have had friends who loved you.”
Past tense.
“Fuck off, Zehr.” I hadn’t wanted to fight him and lose, but now I yanked my hand free.
He smiled down at me, handsome and smug as ever—at least in the world of our dreams, where he could stand. “You can pretend to despise me all you wish. Do you manage to convince yourself?”
“You’ve lied to me constantly,” I reminded him.
He gave me a lazy, unapologetic shrug, though his eyes were fixed on me intensely. “I’ve been working for the kingdom’s good. For my queen’s good.”
I scoffed a laugh. “I don’t want you to do anythingfor me.”
He tilted his head to one side, stepping closer to me. Despite everything, butterflies rose in my chest when Zehr was so close to me, but I steeled myself and met his gaze evenly. He didn’t have to know what I thought.
But then his smile deepened knowingly. I frowned at him.
The next second, images flowed into my mind. They were my own thoughts, fragments of imagination and desire.
Zehr’s lips against mine.
His fevered fingers against my clit, working it steadily.
Zehr on his knees, his dark curls brushing between my thighs, his hands stroking up my calves as his tongue sought to please…
I pushed the images away, ignoring the wanton surge of feeling between my thighs. “You’re a monster.”
“I’myourmonster,” he corrected. “But you were so close.”
I had to get away from him and get to Ebba.
His eyes darkened. “Honor. No.”
