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“She’s out shopping.” My mother smiled slightly, secretly.
“Okay.” I didn’t press the subject. My mother was always strange and secretive. It made her feel powerful.
She and I made small talk, the kind strangers do, while we ate. Dylan eased the awkwardness, talking about nothing.
Rose came in halfway through lunch, carrying handfuls of shopping bags, a grin written across her face. She seemed to be rushing toward eighteen, her makeup heavy, her long, dark brown hair woven into an elaborate fishtail braid. The girls of the pack did each other’s hair all the time; my arms would’ve ached too much if I’d tried to recreate that style on myself. Funny that a stupid braid could make me feel small and unwanted. I used to braid her hair, and my friends used to braid mine.
She froze for a second when she saw me, then smiled and dropped the bags, coming over to hug me. I hugged her back, wondering what that pause was for.
“Hey, stranger, nice to see you for once,” Rose teased.
“Big shopping trip?”
“Just picking up a few things.”
She’d dropped a garment bag along with the other purchases, and I hung it on the back of the chair so it wouldn’t wrinkle. It was a long, silver gown. Expensive. “Special occasion coming up?”
“Just a date.” Rose couldn’t resist smiling, and I had a feeling it was more than a date.
“You should tell her,” Mom said. To me, she added, “You’re out of the loop, since you never stop over unless you need something.”
That was rude but also true.
Rose looked hesitant, then grinned as if she couldn’t hide it. “I think someone’s going to ask me to marry him soon. He told me to get a really nice dress, one I would want pictures in.”
My heart froze. My baby sister was too young to get married. A wedding hadn’t exactly brought me a life of bliss. But she looked so happy, I managed, “Who?”
“Cliff Hegski.”
I stared at her, shocked. “I see.”
She frowned at me, but I already wore the most neutral expression I could summon.
Behind Mom’s back, she mouthed at me, “What’s wrong?”
“There’s a big world out there. You could do anything with your life, but you’re going to make yourself into aHegskiand have his babies?” I mouthed back.
She frowned, but then my mom turned around again, and we both dropped it.
When Dylan ran out of the kitchen to the toy chest Mom kept in the living room for him, I asked, “Do you mind keeping him overnight?”
“Why?” Mom asked.
Rose nodded at me jerkily and walked past me into the living room to play with Dylan. She was a great aunt, always happy to play board games or tag. When she played with Dylan, I caught glimpses of the sister I remembered; for the last five years, she’d been cold and weird with me, and I didn’t know what I’d done or how to repair the rift between us.
“Just want to spend some extra time with Nathan tonight,” I said, the lie like oil, clinging to my mouth.
“That sounds good,” my mom said, then gave me a hard look. “Marriage is important.”
“I’m aware.”
“Are you?” she asked tartly. “Sometimes, I don’t think you’re really trying to make things work with Nathan.”
“What do you want from me, Mom?”
“I want you to not ruin things for Rose,” she hissed. “You always ruin things. She’s happy.”
I let out a disbelieving laugh. If only it was that easy to ruin Cliff for Rose. I’d have to talk to Rose later, but I didn’t know if she’d believe me about what a monster Cliff was. Still, I had to try. She was my sister.
