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Both of them had helped me escape.
Then, one of them had ruined me.
Lawson’s jaw ticks. “Did you ask him?”
I turned away, the wind tugging at my hair. Dylan and Molly had climbed to the top of the dome and were sitting close together, their feet kicking as they talked seriously about little kid stuff. With their heads so close together, they were the picture of innocence—the kind of innocent that Lawson and I had been once.
“Sometimes, I think I couldn’t bear knowing,” I whispered. “And sometimes, I can’t bear not knowing.”
Lawson looked stricken. “I promise you, I didn’t tell Nathan where to find you.”
I couldn’t bear the weight of that night. “If I’d stayed away from Brennan, he’d be alive. He’d be happy.”
“He never would have been happy without you.”
I shook my head. There was a lump in my throat. I’d never had the chance to grieve Brennan. My tears after that night had made Nathan vicious, so I’d locked them deep inside. In the shower, with the water streaming in and the pain I carried like pressure in my chest, I would press my hands against the tile and try to cry. But I couldn’t. I didn’t know how to cry anymore.
It felt like all that grief was a pool of misery and bitterness and pain that was about to open under my feet. Like I was always one slip away from drowning.
Suddenly, Lawson said, “Shit.” His tone changed completely, and so did his presence. He crossed his arms, drawing himself to his full height. His warmth had radiated toward me, but it was gone in a heartbeat, replaced by ice.
I followed his gaze.
Cliff Hegski stalked across the playground toward us, not noticing the children running happily around him. His truck was parked haphazardly on the side of the road; he must have seen us and decided he needed to torment us on Nathan’s behalf. He was Nathan’s sixth-in-command, and ifsixth-in-command sounded ridiculous, it was. No one cared but Cliff. Cliff thought that being sixth was a big deal, and he thoughthewas a big deal.
Cliff stopped and glanced between the two of us, a smile on his lips. “Well, well, what do we have here?”
“The kids are playing.” Lawson swept his arm toward the playground. “Don’t be weird, man.”
Cliff stared him down. Tension rippled between them, an electric hum like a downed power line—lethal, but not unless someone touched it.
“It was nice talking to you, Lawson, but you should get going.” I smiled at them both, trying to defuse the tension.
“Didn’t you two date when you were teenagers?” Cliff mused.
There was no point in denying it, no matter how damning it would sound to Nathan that I was talking to my ex-boyfriend from when I was fourteen. “For about five minutes, yes.”
Lawson smirked, and my heart dropped. “You just live for drama, Cliff. You should try watchingGrey’swith my grandmother. Get your drama without being such a pain in the ass.”
Cliff stepped close to Lawson. “I could kick your ass into next week.”
“At a children’s playground.” Lawson agreed. “Real badass over here.”
“Lawson,” I hissed. “Think of Molly and June.Go.”
I didn’t want any of the kids to witness violence. At least if we hid it from them, maybe they wouldn’t absorb it, wouldn’t be poisoned by it like we all had been. I wanted to believe the future could be better.
“You heard the lady,” Cliff told Lawson mockingly. “She doesn’t want you, Lawson. Never did. She had Brennan, she has Nathan . . . real men. Alphas.”
“The kind of men you aren’t,” I muttered under my breath.
I’d meant to think the words, not say them, and my breath froze in my chest. Cliff froze, too, for a second.
“I’ll get the kids,” Lawson said, finally trying to ease things.
“Get Dylan.” Cliff gave me a nasty smile. “I’ll walk Amelia to the car, make sure she doesn’t meet any other old friends along the way.”
When Lawson was out of sight, Cliff grabbed my arm, his grip painfully tight. He yanked me toward the car.
