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“I’d like to think that I’d help anyway, because they kidnapped you, because I owe Aiden,” he admitted. “But I don’t know. The truth is, I do want revenge on Stone for what he did to my mom.”
I hated the feeling that I still didn’t understand Stone at all. Nathan had been terrifying, but simple. Stone was impossible to make sense of. Had he really wronged Joshua?
Stone was unyielding, and I couldn’t exactly imagine him apologizing if he made a mistake or backing down or listening to unwanted feedback. Maybe he had hurt Joshua’s mom for no good reason.
Why did the thought raise an ache of bitter disappointment?
Even after our fight…. I wanted to think well of Stone.
“What would happen to you if Stone found out you were willing to help me escape?” We both knew the answer to that, but I had to bring it up. “Aren’t you scared?”
“I’m more scared of just being a victim in my own life,” he said.
“I know what that feels like.” I hesitated, feeling sorry for Joshua but also distrustful. “Thank you for the offer.”
But the thought of helping someone get revenge on Stone felt deeply wrong.
“But no thanks?” he finished. “You’re going to take your chances with the King pack?”
“I spent my whole life without getting to choose my chance,” I said. “Now I’m betting that if Nathan shows up, I’m safer here than I am in the Longroad pack.”
He scoffed. “You’re an idiot if you think you’re safe here. But I’m around, if you ever come to your senses.”
He sauntered away through the woods.
His words lingered restlessly in my mind all the rest of the day and well into the night.
CHAPTER34
Amelia
I woke up beside Dylan,sleepy and content for a few long seconds before a coppery scent jolted me fully awake. I bolted upright and reached for Dylan, who stirred and rolled over, his auburn hair wild against the pillow.
He was fine. I realized that at the same time as I felt how my panties clung to me damply—and not in a fun way.
I hadn’t gotten my period in a year. I’d been too thin, too stressed. The absence had made me hopeful I couldn’t get pregnant with Nathan’s baby, but it had also left me constantly wondering if I could be pregnant, despite taking my illicit birth control pills.
I hated the thought of having a second child when I wasn’t sure I could protect my first. At least if I had just one child, I might be able to carry him if he needed me when we ran.
I left Dylan in bed and went to the bathroom to clean myself up. My guts cramped painfully, pulling at my muscles, and I winced; I’d always had miserable periods and I sure hadn’t missed these feelings.
I’d have to ask Karissa for some pads. The thought of asking for yet another thing made me feel vulnerable, and so did the thought of them knowing I was on my period.
I kissed Dylan’s chubby little cheeks until his eyes opened. “I’m going downstairs,” I told him. I didn’t want him to wake up in this house alone and be scared.
“Okay,” he murmured, rolling over and going back to sleep. I ruffled his hair and got out of bed.
He seemed comfortable here, even if I wasn’t.
At first, that thought filled me with peace—I wanted Dylan to be happy—and then I thought about it more as I pulled on one of Brennan’s old hoodies. What if Dylan belonged here? With his father’s family?
What if I never did?
The thought stabbed through my chest, and I pushed it away. Dylan already seemed to love his uncles… but the love between mother and child was meant to be fathomless. If it came down to it, Dylan needed me more than he needed them.
But I wished he could have both.
The hallway was quiet. Distant stirring noises drifted up the stairs, probably from the kitchen. As I went to find Karissa, the scent of freshly-brewing coffee and bacon drifted up the stairs, and I walked in expecting to see the bustling dark-haired dynamo.
