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I took a drink. “I know you want nothing to do with me, Benton.” Our last conversation had blown up into an angry fight. We hadn’t spoken since. I wondered if we would ever speak again. “I want your friendship—not your pity.”
“My anger doesn’t change our relationship.”
“It should.” I’d never felt this level of self-loathing.
We sat in silence. Glasses lightly tapped against the surface of the wood. Quiet conversations in various languages continued throughout the quiet bar. There was no music.
“How’s Laura?”
“She’ll be fine.” She’ll have an ugly scar for the rest of her life, to match the one on my stomach.
“You ended things.”
It wasn’t a question, so I didn’t answer. Just let the truth of his statement reverberate. “I’m so fucked, Benton.” There was just ice in the bottom of my glass, so I shook it around just to listen to the sound. “I lost two guys when I should have lost none. My men watched me sacrifice everything for a goddamn woman.” I grabbed the glass and threw it at the mirror in front of me. It shattered into pieces, and everyone turned silent. The bartender stilled. It took a couple seconds for people to start talking again. I tapped my fingers on the counter as I stared at the frightened bartender. “Another.”
He made the drink as quickly as he could, pouring some of the booze on the counter instead of in the glass. He slid it to me and took off to find something else to do—far away from me.
Benton was the only one unfazed by my outburst. “Why did you save her?”
I drank from my glass and let the silence linger.
“She chose them over you. You didn’t owe her anything.”
“I know.”
“You really think he would have killed her?”
I stared into my glass as I remembered the scene, the edge in Leonardo’s eyes. “Yes.”
Benton stared at the side of my face. “A father kill his daughter?” he asked, slightly incredulous.
“He was that desperate.” It was the only card he had left. “If he didn’t, I would have taken everything. His wealth. His respect. Everything that matters to him. His estranged daughter that disapproves of his life…not nearly as important.” My parents had abandoned me and started a new life with their new kids,and watching Laura be abandoned by her father…it stung. I wouldn’t wish that betrayal on anyone. It was the kind of hurt that went so deep you couldn’t cut it out, not with a knife, not with therapy. “He wouldn’t have shot her in the head, but in her arms and legs until I caved or she bled out.”
“Jesus.”
“Claire is lucky to have you, Benton.” Luckier than the rest of us.
“You can’t forgive her?”
I took another drink. “No.”
“You wouldn’t have saved her if you didn’t care about her.”
“Never said I didn’t.”
“Maybe—”
“It’s done. I won’t change my mind.” The only thing that mattered in life was loyalty—and she pissed all over it. “Now I have to move forward…but I’m not sure how.”
“You can start by killing him.”
“If that were an option, I wouldn’t be sitting here talking to you.” I’d hang him from the Duomo so everyone could see his body at first light, a broken neck and a stiff body. “I agreed not to return there in exchange for Laura. And if I don’t keep my word, then my tarnished reputation will be rusted.”
Benton turned quiet.
I drank.
He drank.
