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It didn’t make any sense. “I said I would walk away from everything. That’s what you wanted.”
“That was before.”
“Before what?”
She didn’t speak.
“Before what?” I repeated, raising my voice.
“You’re only doing this because of what happened to you. If this hadn’t happened, we wouldn’t have seen each other again.”
“You think I haven’t been miserable without you every fucking day? You think I’ve forgotten you while buried in someone else? I’ve been drinking to forget, but no amount of scotch, gin, or vodka can make me forget you. I’ve been celibate, because a woman would only make me miss you more, not less. This conversation would have taken place, regardless of what happened.”
“But it didn’t take place after what happened to me…”
I stared.
“That wasn’t enough. I had to shoot my father and save your life to change your mind.”
“You didn’t change my mind. I’ve just come to realize my retirement is inevitable. My love for you is inevitable.”
Her arms remained locked across her chest.
“Sweetheart, I’m sorry it took so long for me to get here, but I’m here now.”
She wouldn’t look at me.
“Laura.”
“The answer is no.”
It was like another knife between my ribs. Nothing I said mattered. Her decision was ironclad. “You ran down there, shot your own father to save my life, put a gun to your ex’s head…and you don’t want to be with me? Explain to me how that makes sense.”
She didn’t explain anything.
“I’m giving you what you want. A quiet life. A safe one.”
Her eyes found mine again, and then she shook her head. “No.”
“No, what?”
“I was willing to sacrifice my dream, but you weren’t willing to sacrifice yours.”
“What did I just fucking say?” My temper reared its ugly head. This union should be beautiful. We should be fucking on the couch right now. “I’m making the sacrifice to be with you.”
“And what if I don’t want to make the sacrifice anymore?”
All the anger left my body.
“I want a family, Bartholomew. You didn’t make your sacrifice, so I won’t make mine. Take it or leave it.” Her eyes turned guarded, and she kept the distance between us.
I didn’t know what to say, and that showed in the long stretch of silence. “What’s wrong with it being just the two of us?”
“Because I wantmore. I want us to make something together. I want to look at my son and see your face. I want to have my children when you’re gone.”
I’d been so fucking close, and now it slipped away again. “That’s not what we agreed to—”
“We agreed you wouldn’t give up anything and I would give up everything. That’s what we agreed to. Just to refresh your memory.”
