Page 83 of Barbarian


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“Have I said that?”

“Because you know I would say no.”

“I have no idea how you feel about this, Laura. Because we haven’t talked about it. Because you didn’t tell me. And no, I haven’t suggested it because I would never let anything happen to our son or daughter. How can I hate something that’s half you?”

I looked away.

“Laura—”

“You say this now, but you’ll leave eventually… You’ll leave when things get hard. And I can’t deal with that. I’d rather you not be a part of this than watch you abandon us later.”

He cocked his head slightly as he stared at me.

The stare was so intense I looked away.

“When have I not been loyal to you?”

I kept my eyes on the floor.

“I sacrificed everything for you, Laura. I let my men die for you. When Silas came for you, I killed him and all the rest. When this relationship failed, I bought you this apartment so you’d never have to sleep in that tainted place. I’vealwaysbeen loyal to you. And I will remain loyal to you through this.”

“I don’t want loyalty, Bartholomew. I want us to be in love—”

“We are in love.”

“And we’re growing our family…and we’re so excited for it. I don’t want the man I love to come back because he has to. Idon’t want a promise he’ll stay…because if we were happy, that promise wouldn’t need to be made in the first place.”

He turned quiet.

“I just…don’t want it to be this way.”

He stayed quiet.

I looked at him, seeing his focused stare.

“No, it’s not in the way that you described, but I think it’s more profound. If it weren’t, I wouldn’t be here right now. The second I knew, all those misgivings and fears vanished. I knew I was fully invested in this. I knew I wanted to be with you every day for the rest of my life. I knew I wanted to be the father to this kid, not someone else. All my priorities changed in an instant. I think that’s a better story than the one you imagined.”

“I…I don’t know.” My arms remained locked across my chest, like that would somehow protect my heart.

“You don’t have a choice, Laura. I’m here. End of story.”

“Yes, I have a choice—”

“Do you think I’ll be a bad father?”

The question made me hesitate. “I-I didn’t say that.”

“Then why the hesitation? Why the resistance?” His eyes were slightly angry, filled with smoke.

“As I already said—”

“I love you, Laura. I want to be with you. I want to raise this child with you. Why can’t you just accept that?”

Now I was at a loss for words.

“It’s because you think I’ll fail. It’s because you think I’ll be a shitty dad—”

“I don’t think that, Bartholomew.”

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