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Dear God, please don’t let that ever happen to me.
When the obstetrician calls me in, I take a seat and nervously fiddle with the fray in my jeans.
“Miss Edwards, I’m Doctor Callahan. So, I believe you’re pregnant, but you don’t know how far along you are. Is that correct?”
I nod, keeping my mouth shut.
She glances at the chart, reading with a smile. “I see you’re a student at NYU?”
“Yes. I enrolled late.”
“Better late than never,” she adds, keeping her expression warm. “How about we see what’s going on, then discuss your options.”
“What options?” I blurt out. “I’m keeping the baby. I can’t go through a termination again.”
Dr. Callahan tilts her head, observing me quietly, then stands up to move toward the bed. She motions for me to join her, instructing me to lie on the bed and push my jeans slightly below my hips.
She turns the machine on, then rubs a lubricant just below my belly button before she presses this little white device around my uterus area.
Finally, she stops and points to the screen.
“You see the little bean shape on the screen? That’s your baby.”
I focus my gaze, only spotting it once she moves her finger closer to point it out. My eyes stare in disbelief, wondering how this little bean will turn into a baby. Then, she presses a button, and sound blares over the speaker.
“The heartbeat,” she adds with a grin. “Perfect for ten weeks.”
“Ten weeks?”
“Yes, you’re almost past your first trimester.”
All of this is surreal. The baby on the screen, the heartbeat echoing in the room. My chest feels tight, but an odd feeling like it’s ready to burst with something wonderful.
“I take it by your earlier concern you’ve chosen to keep the child?”
“Yes,” I confirm while expelling a breath.
“It’s just my job to ensure you’re informed of all your options given your age.”
“I know. I’m young.”
“Yes, you are. Many men and women go on to be wonderful parents despite their young age.”
I turn to face her. “I’m not with the father. In fact, he doesn’t know. Do you think that’s bad? Actually, let me paint the whole picture. He is having a baby with another woman, his wife. He told me they weren’t together. I know, I’m the idiot.”
Dr. Callahan remains quiet, then cleans me up so I can take a seat back at her desk.
“I’m gathering your parents don’t know?”
I shake my head.
“Miss Edwards, it’s far from me to have an opinion on anyone’s personal life. Sometimes, we find ourselves in certain situations and make mistakes. But the greatest gifts in life can often come from this.”
I manage a small laugh. “My mom said the same thing.”
“Smart woman.” Dr. Callahan grins. “I’ll give you a list of things to do, plan, and read up on. In the meantime, take care of yourself, and please schedule your next appointment. It’s always important to ensure you attend regular checkups so we can ensure both you and the baby are well.”
“I will do that,” I tell her as I stand up. “Dr. Callahan? Thank you for letting me vent. It’s just been hard keeping this to myself.”
