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Her hands reach into the carrier as she unbuckles his strap and belt, gently lifting him up. He’s incredibly small, wearing a blue jumpsuit. Alexandra reaches for the blanket, wrapping him up tight before handing him to me.
“Uh, I’ve never held a baby,” I warn her.
“Well, I’d never given birth. There’s a first time for everything.”
I move positions so I’m sitting beside her. Then, she brings the baby closer to me. Scared I’m going to drop him, she angles my arms to make it easier for me.
“There,” she says once he’s in my arms. “He’s not going to break. You can relax a little.”
I glance down, unsure why my heart is racing. He’s resting peacefully. His eyes are closed with his small lips twitching everyso often. I examine every feature, not sure what I’m looking for since he looks like a newborn baby.
“Hunter…” Alexandra starts, then trails off as if she’s thinking about her words carefully. “I’m sorry you lost your child. I can’t begin to imagine how hard it was for both of you. I thought about telling you when I was pregnant, but I didn’t want Elijah to compete with another baby. When I saw you at The Plaza, I freaked out. Then, when I heard the news and Elijah was born, I realized it was selfish of me to deprive you of meeting him.”
If only I could tell her the truth…
“What is it you want from me?” I ask, unsure where to go from here. “I don’t know how to raise a child.”
“Neither do I. I don’t want anything. You can be in his life or choose not to be.” She crosses her arms, appearing agitated. “You deserved to meet him.”
Elijah begins to fuss so I quickly pass him back to her, unsure what to do.
“He’s hungry and needs a feed.”
“You can prepare a bottle in the kitchen if you need to.”
“I, uh, breastfeed him.”
“Right,” I simply say. She gazes at me oddly, waiting for something. “Do you need something?”
“I’m still getting used to the whole breastfeeding in public thing. So, if you don’t mind, can you turn around while I latch him? I don’t particularly want to show you my boobs.”
I try my best to hide back my smirk. “I’ve seen them before.”
“Yes, before when it was okay.”
“Fine, I’ll turn around.”
As I turn around, I hear her shuffle before she lets out a sigh.
“Okay, you can turn back around now.”
My body turns to see Elijah sucking on her breast. It’s such an odd thing to see, but it stirs this emotion inside me. Here isthe mother of my child, feeding him. The walls of my heart swell like never before, and I wonder if I would have felt the same way about Kathy.
Deep down, I know the answer is no. I’ve never had feelings for her.
But Alexandra as the woman who carried my child is something else.
“Motherhood suits you,” I murmur. “You look like a natural.”
She grabs his tiny hand with a smile. “Maybe, now. The first two weeks were hard. We have a routine, and my parents help me so much.”
“You parents…” I trail off. “So, what was their reaction when you told them I was the father?”
“I think you should count your blessings. You’re still alive.”
I press my lips flat, keeping my opinion to myself. Lex Edwards would have been livid, so maybe I should count my blessings.
“Okay, he’s done, I think.” She removes him quickly, but I accidentally catch a glimpse of her nipple.Shit. Okay, think about anything else. Work, meetings, the mailman when he smiles at me with all his missing teeth…
