Page 75 of Craving Us


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There’s a knock on my door, and I know it’s Mom.

“Alexa, are you okay? I’m so sorry that happened.”

I take a deep breath. “Honestly, Mom. I can only take so much. My decision to keep Elijah feels like it’s a burden to everyone. Now, I have to introduce my son to his father. Who probably feels like he’s a burden too.”

“Don’t say that. Elijah is not a burden to anyone.”

“Then why does it feel this way, Mom?” I cry, unable to hold back.

Mom wraps her arms around me, pulling me into her tight embrace. I cry into her chest, releasing the hurt and pain of everything in my life, spiraling out of control.

“Alexa, look at me, please,” Mom pleads, forcing me to pull back. “Elijah is a blessing. We all love him so much. Right now, things are hard, and you’ve had to make decisions based on someone else, not you. We will support you no matter what you decide. Do you understand me?”

I nod through tears.

“I have to go, Mom. I’m already late.”

“Good luck, honey. We’re just a phone call away if you need us, okay?”

With a deep breath, I muster up the courage to take another big step with an unknown outcome.

All I know is I have no choice. What’s best for Elijah is all I need to focus on.

Motherhood is just as Mom described it. Making decisions based on someone else.

And right now, my son’s future hangs in the balance, depending on how Hunter reacts to meeting him and what we do moving forward.

I’m scared of the unknown.

But just maybe, the unknown is another blessing in disguise.

TWENTY

ALEXA

Hunter meeting Elijah was a surreal experience in itself.

I prepared myself for the obvious conversations which would arise from being in such a situation, but what I didn’t prepare myself for—and no way could have— was seeing my son being held by his father for the first time.

Emotions ran wild as I watched Hunter gaze at him with adoration, even though he had no idea he was staring at him this way. I expected him to be cold and heartless, given I’d seen the bad side of him when our affair was reaching breaking point.

My heart was so full, realizing at that moment the bond two people can share if given a chance. I don’t regret following my gut because, in the end, I only wanted the best for my son.

It went better than I could have ever imagined, until the end when his lack of transparency with his marriage goaded a reaction from me. Something wasn’t right, and typical Hunter kept his cards close to his chest. He’s an arrogant asshole when he wants to be, but I guess there are no surprises when it comes to discussing hismarriage.

Right then, I knew, I would have to force myself to only look at him as Elijah’s father and nothing else. Any unwarrantedfeelings need to be controlled. Extinguish the fire before it burns the whole building down.

Back at home, things were quiet after what happened with Nikki. Mom didn’t want to talk about it, and I knew things were strained between them. It only made sense to find out from Dad what was happening.

“They will reconcile when Nikki stops acting like a bi—” Dad cuts himself off, only just remembering I’m the one he’s talking to.

“You can say it, Dad. She was a bitch.”

“Frankly, yes,” he agrees. “Not once did your mother and I blame them when Will was sneaking around with your sister.”

“Right, because what control would they have had over that? Beau and I don’t see eye to eye on things involving Hunter. So, it’s best to distance ourselves from each other for now. And for the record, I would never ask any man to give up everything for me. I believe in compromising when you’re in a relationship. Not that I’ve had many…” I smile involuntarily. Now it’s my turn to remember who I’m speaking to. “Sorry, Dad. Too much information.”

“It’s fine, Alexa. You’re right. It’s important to compromise. One day, some man will be lucky to have you.”

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